Accept that you are responsible for your current life situation. Bad things happen to us every day. But it is about how we (re)act and what choices we make.
What you’ll find inside:
Life seems less of a burden, when you have someone else to blame. It takes courage to stand up for yourself. Once you get used to it, you will feel more energetic out of your victories and less anxious of consequence from failure.
Being responsible does not stop at admitting when you have done something wrong. This is a first, but important step of a journey. It will take practice to get used to apologize. Once you get used to it, the “you’re responsible” mindset will make you try really hard to give all you have in order to fill this role of a responsible person. You will try to live up to your expectations.
And as you don’t want to be responsible for everything, you will have to make up your mind on what is important to you.
Responsibility – what’s the point
What is it that you care so much about, that it is a no-brainer, you want it to be successful, safe, whole or just there for you and others. Is it your partner, your cat or your job?
But others come second – you have to feel responsible for yourself first and this is your body and your mind. Without you being well, there is not much you will be able to do for others on the long run.
Let us start with your mind: It is your reaction to external circumstances that you cannot control that is crucial when takin responsibility for yourself. Because who you give responsibility has the authority over you. Life is full of situations that are beyond our control, such as the weather, traffic, or other people’s actions. For example, getting upset about heavy traffic won’t make the cars move faster, but it will increase your stress levels. If you’re feeling moody simply because clouds are obscuring the sun, then you’re allowing the weather to dictate your mood.
Neither me or you want to be dependent on random events – this is majorly stupid, but sometime, this is what we do. Therefore how you choose to respond to these circumstances is very important. You can’t control the situation, but you can control your reaction to it. This will greatly influence your happiness, stress levels, and overall well-being.
If you blame external circumstances or other people for your feelings or actions, you’re essentially giving them authority over your life. However, if you take responsibility for your responses, you retain the authority and control over your own life. For example, instead of saying “The traffic made me late,” you could say “I didn’t plan enough time for traffic delays.” This shifts the responsibility back to you and gives you the authority to make changes in the future.
Know what is important for you
Accept that you are in control of what you think and how you perceive everything you read, hear or see. Observe how your brain filters all this information and molds your perception of your current situation based on your beliefs and past experiences.
Once you acknowledge that you’re personally accountable for every aspect of your life, you truly become responsible for everything in it. However, this can be overwhelming and turn into a pitfall, as you can’t “boil the ocean” and you should not. If you know already what matters to you most, focus on it solely.
In case you are not certain of the things that truly matter to you, start the other way around. Decide what is not important to you, and start saying “No” to those things in life. To help you with that try the following two questions to reflect:
- Am I only doing this task out of habit, guilt, or a sense of obligation, rather than genuine necessity or desire?
- What would happen if I simply stopped doing this task, and is that outcome acceptable to me?
Reflecting on your answer to those questions will help to find a way forward. And if it turn out, that you took the wrong path – apologize (also to yourself) and take responsibility to change your course in life.
Habits to strengthen your sense of responsibility
By cultivating these habits you’ll develop a stronger sense of responsibility and become more adept at focusing your energy on the things that truly matter.
1. Choose what you care about
Action: Prioritize what truly matters to you based on your core values. Make a conscious decision to care about and invest your energy in those things. Ignore or disengage from trivial or unimportant issues.
Why it works: Focusing on what’s truly important helps you take responsibility for your priorities. Choosing your battles wisely conserves energy and reduces stress. Aligning your actions with your values fosters a sense of purpose and accountability.
2. Take Responsibility for Your Problems
Action: Accept that problems are a natural part of life and that you are responsible for addressing them. Instead of blaming others or external circumstances, focus on what you can control. Ask yourself, “What can I do to improve or resolve this situation?”
Why it works: Taking ownership of your problems empowers you to find solutions. Focusing on what you can control fosters proactive responsibility. Accepting problems as natural helps you build resilience and emotional maturity.
3. Practice Rejection and Failure
Action: Deliberately seek out experiences where you might face rejection or failure. Embrace these experiences as opportunities for growth and learning. Reflect on what you’ve gained from each experience, regardless of the outcome.
Why it works: Facing rejection and failure builds emotional resilience and mental toughness. Embracing these experiences helps you take responsibility for your actions and their consequences. Learning from failures fosters continuous personal growth and improvement.
Conclusion
- Taking responsibility for your life puts you in the driver’s seat, allowing you to make decisions and shape your future.
- Accepting responsibility fosters self-awareness, emotional maturity, and resilience.
- It helps you make better, more informed decisions that align with your values and goals.
- In order to feel responsible, you’ll have to know what you care about and what to skip.
- Finally taking responsibility reduces your feelings of helplessness and victimhood.
