Rewire your brain: The Transformative Power of Psycho Cybernetics

For years, I felt muted. Not in the sense of lacking opinions, but like my voice simply didn’t carry. In crowded rooms, during team meetings, even at a bar, I’d speak, and it felt like my words evaporated before reaching their intended ears. I’d rehearse what I wanted to say, try to project, but nothing seemed to work. I genuinely believed there was something wrong with how I communicated, some technical malfunction in my vocal delivery.

After reading Maxwell Maltz’s “Psycho Cybernetics” I began to understand what was really happening. It wasn’t a vocal problem; it was a self-image problem. And, crucially, it was a problem I could change.

“Psycho Cybernetics” published in 1960 is a fascinating exploration of the human mind, drawing parallels between guided missile systems (the “cybernetics” part) and our innate ability to achieve goals. Maltz, a plastic surgeon, observed something profound in his patients: often, physical correction didn’t solve underlying emotional or behavioral issues. He realized the image people held of themselves was far more powerful than their physical appearance.

The Sculpting of Self: How We Build Our Inner Image

Maltz argues that our self-image isn’t something we’re born with, but rather something we build over time through our experiences – particularly in childhood. These experiences, whether positive or negative, create a mental picture of who we are. This picture, often subconscious, dictates how we perceive the world and, critically, what we believe is possible for ourselves.

Think of it like this: imagine a sculptor slowly chipping away at a block of stone. Each experience, each interaction, is a strike of the chisel, shaping the final form. For me, early experiences of being talked over, or dismissed in group settings, had chipped away at my confidence, creating a self-image of someone whose voice wasn’t valued or heard. I wasn’t consciously trying to be quiet, my subconscious had simply decided that’s who I was.

But the beautiful thing is, if the sculptor can continue to work the stone, they can also reshape it. Maltz explains that we can change our self-image using the same creative process we used to build it in the first place.

Goal-Seeking Machines and the Limits of “Possible”

Humans are, at their core, goal-seeking organisms. Our brains are wired to identify desired outcomes and then relentlessly work to achieve them. But here’s the catch: that pursuit of goals is always filtered through the lens of our self-image. (read also why feed your brain with decent information)

Maltz introduces the idea of an “area of the possible.” This is the range of outcomes our subconscious believes we are capable of achieving. If your self-image is limited, your area of what you can imagine and actually do shrinks. You might have the talent, the skills, even the desire to reach for something bigger, but your subconscious will subtly sabotage your efforts, creating obstacles and self-doubt.

I realized my muted voice wasn’t about a technical issue, but about a self-imposed limitation. I had unconsciously defined myself as someone who wasn’t meant to be heard and thought I was just a good listener. My subconscious wasn’t actively trying to silence me, but it wasn’t actively helping me project either.

The Power of “Acting As If”

So how do we reshape our self-image and expand our area of the possible? Maltz advocates a powerful technique: “acting as if.” But this is not about “fake it till you make it”. He encourages us to mentally rehearse success, vividly imagining ourselves already possessing the qualities and achieving the goals we desire.

This isn’t just positive thinking. It’s about creatively experiencing the desired outcome through your imagination. It’s about immersing yourself in the feeling of success, allowing your subconscious to accept that new reality.

For me, this meant practicing speaking with confidence, not just in private, but visualizing myself addressing a room and being listened to with genuine interest. I imagined the feeling of delivering a powerful message and the positive response it garnered. It felt silly at first, but slowly, it started to work.

From Past Mistakes to Future Growth

Maltz emphasizes the importance of focusing on the present and future, rather than dwelling on past mistakes. He isn’t suggesting we ignore our errors, but rather that we learn from them and move forward. He stresses that constantly revisiting the past only reinforces negative patterns.

“Admit your mistakes and errors, but don’t cry over them. Correct them and go forward,” he writes. This resonated deeply. I had a habit of replaying past conversations, agonizing over what I should have said, which only reinforced my anxiety and self-doubt. Learning to acknowledge mistakes, correct them when possible, and then let them go was a crucial step in reshaping my self-image.

„It doesn’t matter who’s right, but what’s right.“

Furthermore, Maltz encourages us to practice empathy. “In dealing with other people, try to see the situation from their point of view as well as your own.” This shifts the focus away from self-absorption and fosters a more positive and constructive mindset.

Three Habits to Implement from “Psycho-Cybernetics”

Here are three actionable habits derived from the book that I’ve incorporated into my life, and which have made a significant difference:

1. Mental Rehearsal (5-10 minutes daily): Before a potentially challenging situation (a presentation, a difficult conversation, etc.), spend 5-10 minutes vividly imagining yourself successfully navigating it. Focus on the feeling of confidence and positive outcomes.
   Why it works: This primes your subconscious for success, reducing anxiety and increasing the likelihood of a favorable outcome. It’s like practicing a skill in your mind before you physically perform it.
2. “Error Correction” Journaling (Weekly): Once a week, review your past week and identify a mistake or something you wish you’d handled differently. Briefly acknowledge the error, outline what you’ve learned, and consciously commit to a different approach in the future.
   Why it works: This breaks the cycle of dwelling on past mistakes, fostering a growth mindset and reinforcing positive change. It shifts the focus from regret to learning.
3. Perspective-Taking Exercise (Daily): Each day, actively try to see a situation from another person’s point of view. Consider their motivations, beliefs, and experiences. Try to understand the motivations and reactions of others, and respond with empathy and understanding.
   Why it works: This cultivates empathy and reduces self-centeredness, fostering more positive relationships and a more balanced perspective. It allows you to approach challenges with greater understanding and compassion.

In conclusion, “Psycho Cybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz offers a powerful framework for understanding and transforming your self-image. It reminds us that we are not fixed entities, but rather dynamic, evolving beings capable of reshaping our minds and achieving our full potential. And for me, it finally allowed my voice to be heard.