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Tag: focus

  • Using Self‑Awareness and Emotional Insight for Personal Growth

    Using Self‑Awareness and Emotional Insight for Personal Growth

    I’ve spent most of my life treating the brain like a finely tuned machine—inputs, outputs, algorithms, all neatly mapped out. As an analytical thinker, emotions felt like a side‑project: curious signals that I noticed, but never really used to steer my life. Growing up, I was taught to see feelings as messengers from my body, warning me of danger or satisfaction, but they were always something to be observed, not a compass.

    It wasn’t until I picked up Master Your Emotions by Thibaut Meurisse that revealed a totally different perspective. Meurisse didn’t just reframe emotions as data; he showed me how to turn those data points into deliberate, growth‑oriented decisions.

    What you’ll find inside:

    In this post, I’ll share that journey—from puzzlement to purpose—exploring how self‑awareness and emotional insight set the foundation for personal growth. If you’ve ever felt your rational mind at odds with your gut, or wondered how to make emotions work for you, keep reading. The first step to freedom is recognizing that you are not the sum of your feelings; you are the observer, and you hold the keys to unlock them.

    Your Brain’s Primary Mission

    Think of the brain as a cybernetic control system whose primary objective is to maintain homeostasis – a state of steady internal physical and chemical conditions (also read Rewire your brain). Evolution engineered a hierarchy of priorities: hunger, safety, reproduction. Joy, in contrast, is a secondary reward signal—a by‑product of achieving those primary goals.

    If you model the brain’s reward circuitry in a simple loop, the dopamine pathway is the “output” that signals success. But the input—the stimulus that triggers dopamine—doesn’t come from abstract happiness. It’s rooted in concrete, measurable events that signal safety or resource acquisition: a full plate, a secure shelter, a partnership.

    This architecture explains why fleeting pleasures often feel hollow. The system is wired to flag immediate threats or gains, not to evaluate the quality of an emotion.

    External Events vs. Inner State

    A common analytical intuition is that cause and effect are linear. Yet, long‑term satisfaction isn’t a simple function of external events. (also read: Thinking in Systems). Instead, it’s a complex mapping:

    Happiness = f(Interpretation | Event)

    In other words, how we interpret a given event largely determines our lasting emotional state.

    Example: The “Salary Increase” Paradox

    You receive a 5 % raise. The objective data: income raises leading to  comfort raises. However, if you interpret the raise as a sign of “I’m indispensable,” your self‑efficacy rises and so does long‑term satisfaction. If you interpret it as “I still need to prove myself,” anxiety spikes.

    The key takeaway is that interpretation is the variable you can control. By systematically auditing how you map external stimuli to internal states, you gain a powerful lever over your emotional landscape.

    What the Ego Is and Why It Matters

    In psychological terms, the ego is an internal narrative that gives coherence to identity. It’s built from a sequence of thoughts—“I am a good coder”, “I must be perfect”, “I need approval”. These statements lack empirical grounding; they’re constructed by your mind to make sense of your experience.

    Think of the ego as a model that you continually update based on new data. Just as a machine learning system updates its weights when new samples arrive, the ego updates its narrative when new events occur. The danger? The model can become biased if its training data is skewed—e.g., a single negative feedback can disproportionately weight a “I’m incompetent” label.

    The Illusion of “Having = Being”

    The ego frequently equates possession or status with self‑worth:

    • “I have a fancy car → I’m valuable.”
    • “I have a high title → I’m superior.”

    This creates a feedback loop: we acquire more to satisfy the ego, but each acquisition merely reinforces the illusion.This is akin to a self‑reinforcing algorithm that never converges. (also read: How Your Vocabulary Molds Your Reality)

    Ego thrives on low self‑awareness. When we don’t question our internal narratives, the ego becomes a dominant variable that shapes decisions.

    Conversely, high self‑awareness allows the ego to be observed rather than acted upon. By treating ego narratives as data points rather than truths, we can identify and prune the noise.

    Attachment, Beliefs, and the Emotional Cycle

    The process Attachment to Belief to Emotion is iterative:

    1. Attachment – we latch onto something (people, objects, ideas).
    2. Belief – we assign a value or expectation to that attachment (e.g., “I must be loved by X”).
    3. Emotion – the attachment + belief triggers an emotional response (e.g., fear, joy).

    If the attachment is fragile (e.g., a transient relationship), the belief may be over‑inflated, leading to strong emotional swings.

    This restlessness—the monkey mind—is the cognitive noise that keeps us oscillating between attachments. For analytical minds, this is the equivalent of overfitting: the system constantly adjusts to noise rather than underlying patterns.

    Negative emotions often feel like alerts—“something’s wrong.” But the crucial insight is that they are informative, not pathological.

    • Fear signals a mismatch between expectation and reality.
    • Sadness indicates a loss or a misalignment between goals and current state.

    By treating them as diagnostic signals, we can conduct a root‑cause analysis and adjust either the attachment or the belief.

    5. Self‑Awareness as the Key to Freedom

    Imagine setting up a real‑time monitoring dashboard for your thoughts and feelings. You capture each event (e.g., “I felt annoyed at the email”), tag it (e.g., “cognitive distortion: catastrophizing”), and then pause before reacting. This is called “Observing Without Identification”.

    The act of not identifying with the event is akin to separating the signal from the noise. You view the emotion as a transient data packet that will dissipate if you don’t feed it the amplification circuit of rumination.

    When you let the emotion pass, you essentially drop a data point from the influence set of your decision‑making model. That reduces variance.

    • Experiment: Notice when you feel a negative emotion. Instead of reacting, label it (“I am feeling frustrated”) and then observe the rest of the day. Side remark: the word “feeling” makes a difference while labeling the emotion. Without it you might subconsciously identify yourself with the emotion – but you are not your emotions.
    • Result: The emotional intensity tends to subside, demonstrating that amplification is the primary driver of emotional persistence.

    Attention is the energy that fuels emotional responses. By redirecting focus to awareness—the neutral observer—you shift the energy vector away from the emotional output and toward cognitive clarity.

    Analytically, this is a resource reallocation problem: you re‑balance your internal bandwidth from reactive to proactive states.

    6. Practical Tools for Everyday Practice

    Below are concrete, data‑driven techniques that helped me as an analytical person.

    • Emotional Journaling: Record feelings for a week, noting triggers and patterns.
      Why it matters: Provides empirical data for trend analysis
      A simple example is:
      • Time: 9:45
      • Event: Email from manager “Need this EoB”
      • Emotion: Anxiety
      • Interpretation: I’m incompetent
      • Alternative interpretation: I can do this and need to prioritize.
    • High‑Power Poses: Adopt a posture (e.g., standing tall) for 2 minutes.
      Why it matters: Activates the “self‑efficacy” circuit—improved body language correlates with confidence.
    • Compliment Acceptance: Accept praise without immediately internalizing it as self‑worth.
      Why it matters: Prevents your ego from re‑encoding the compliment as a permanent belief.

    Notice the shift from self‑defeating to situational interpretations after applying the alternative lens.

    Take‑away: Reclaiming Your Life

    1. You are not your ego or emotions. They are ephemeral phenomena that arise and fade. By observing them, you create a buffer zone between stimulus and response.
    2. Change starts with the story you tell yourself. Reframe “I’m a coder” into “I’m a curious problem‑solver”. This subtle shift moves the ego from identity validation to skill evolution.
    3. Act with awareness of values, purpose, and inner reality. Let your decision‑making be guided by principles rather than temporary emotions.

    For the analytical thinker, the ultimate lesson is that emotions are data. When you treat them as such—observed, categorized, and leveraged—you gain the freedom to navigate modern life with precision, resilience, and a deeper sense of self.

  • “Badass Habits” and a benefit – rewriting your reality

    “Badass Habits” and a benefit – rewriting your reality

    Experiencing the positive effect of rewiring my habits for the past year, I curiously seek to understand this topic further. This is how I stumbled upon Jen Sincero’s “Badass Habits”, and something clicked. It wasn’t just about positive thinking; it was about brutally honest self-assessment and the need to actively visualize my new identity to make these habits work.

    What you’ll find inside:

    This book isn’t about quick fixes. It’s about understanding how deeply ingrained patterns – the habits we barely notice – shape our entire existence. And it’s refreshingly blunt, full of tough love and actionable strategies. Here’s a dive into the core ideas, and how they’ve helped me start building a life my future self will be proud of.

    The Cascade: Thoughts, Words, Beliefs, Habits, Reality

    Sincero lays it out powerfully: “Our thoughts become our words, our words become our beliefs, our beliefs become our habits, and our habits become our realities.” It sounds simple, but it’s profoundly impactful. Think about it. How often do we unconsciously repeat negative self-talk (“I’m not good enough,” “I always mess things up”)? These thoughts aren’t just fleeting feelings; they shape how we talk to ourselves and how we perceive the world. (read also how vocabulary molds your reality)

    Over time, these repeated thoughts solidify into beliefs. We believe we’re not good enough, so we might avoid challenges. These beliefs then drive our habits. We procrastinate, self-sabotage, or play it safe. And ultimately, those habits create our reality: a life filled with missed opportunities and a pervasive sense of unfulfillment.

    I realized I’d been stuck in this loop for years. I believed I didn’t have the time to do creative stuff, so I avoided writing, drawing, or any activity that felt “artistic”. This belief created the habit of avoiding anything creative, and unsurprisingly, I had a very unfulfilling creative life! But Sincero argues that’s nonsense. Beliefs aren’t immutable truths; they’re just stories we’ve been telling ourselves.

    Who Are You Becoming? The Power of Identity

    This is where the book really shifted my perspective. Sincero emphasizes that “When it comes to building great habits and ditching lame ones, your commitment to staying focused on who you’re becoming regardless of where you are/who you are right now is the mightiest power you’ve got.”

    Forget about being “perfect” or instantly successful. The focus isn’t on achieving a goal; it’s on becoming the person who would achieve that goal. This is about identity.

    “Shift your identity to match the habits you’re adopting.”

    Instead of saying “I want to be a writer,” you embody being a writer. You dress the part (even if it’s just comfy pajamas!), you create a dedicated writing space, and you prioritize writing time. You become the person who writes, regardless of whether you’ve published a single word.

    I started doing this with exercise. For years, I’d tried to “get in shape” with fleeting motivation. Then I decided I was becoming a “strong and healthy person.” I didn’t focus on weight loss or achieving a specific physique. I focused on feeling strong and healthy. I started small – a one push-up each day. This exercise was about embodying the kind of person who prioritizes her health and well-being. This small shift in identity made a massive difference. (also read How The Compound Effect transforms your life.)

    Awareness is the Foundation

    Sincero stresses that “The first step to making any major change in your life is always awareness.” This sounds obvious, but it’s surprisingly difficult to do. We’re so busy living on autopilot, we rarely pause to examine our thoughts, beliefs, and habits. (read From Reacting to Witnessing: A Path to Inner Growth)

    The book challenges you to brutally honest self-assessment and question your limiting beliefs and sabotaging habits. It’s uncomfortable work, but essential.

    I started journaling, not about my daily activities, but about my internal dialogue. With the help of AI reflecting on what I have written, I realized I was constantly apologizing for things that weren’t my fault, downplaying my accomplishments, and seeking external validation. These were deeply ingrained habits, fueled by a belief that I wasn’t worthy of respect.

    Re-Writing Your Narrative: Perception and Visualization

    Sincero argues that “Our “realities” are determined by how we habitually perceive ourselves and our world.” This is mind-bending, but incredibly empowering. We’re not victims of our circumstances; we’re co-creators of our reality.

    She encourages us to visualize ourselves as the hero of our own life story. Not a passive observer, but an active protagonist, facing challenges with courage and resilience. This isn’t about magical thinking; it’s about training your brain to focus on possibilities rather than limitations.

    I started a visualization practice where I imagined myself confidently navigating challenging situations, speaking my truth, and achieving my goals. It felt silly at first, but it helped me reprogram my subconscious mind and build self-confidence.

    Sincero champions the use of mantras and affirmations, but not in the fluffy, feel-good way many people approach them. She emphasizes that they need to be believable and specifically address the limiting beliefs you’re trying to overcome.

    Instead of simply saying “I am successful,” you might say, “I am capable of learning and growing, and I will take consistent action towards my goals.” This is a more realistic and empowering affirmation.

    Three Habits to Rewrite Your Reality (Inspired by “Badass Habits”)

    Here are three habits I adopted, applying the principles from the book:

    1. Daily “Truth Bomb” Journaling: This isn’t about listing your gratitude (though that’s good too). It’s about identifying a limiting belief you’re struggling with and writing a counter-argument, based on logic and evidence.
      Why it works: It forces you to actively challenge your negative thought patterns and build a more rational and empowering belief system.
    2. “Power Pose” Before Challenges : Adopt a confident posture (think Wonder Woman!) before facing a daunting task or situation.
      Why it works: Research shows that power poses can actually alter your brain chemistry, increasing testosterone and decreasing cortisol, which leads to increased confidence and reduced stress. It’s a quick and easy way to tap into your inner strength.
    3. “Future Self” Letter Writing: Once a year write a letter from your ideal future self to your current self, offering encouragement, guidance, and celebrating your successes. Why it works: It helps you clarify your vision for the future and embody the identity of the person you want to become. It’s a powerful way to stay motivated and committed to your goals or rearrange them.

    “Badass Habits” isn’t a magic bullet. It requires consistent effort, brutal honesty, and a willingness to challenge your deeply ingrained patterns. But it’s a powerful roadmap for rewriting your reality and creating a life you truly love. It’s not about becoming “perfect,” it’s about becoming the best, most badass version of yourself. And that’s a journey worth taking.

  • AI & Journaling: Unlock Deeper Self-Awareness

    AI & Journaling: Unlock Deeper Self-Awareness

    For years, I’ve been a dedicated journaler. All started with a “Dear Diary” kind, but quickly resolved to a question-based approach. I pick a prompt – anything from “What makes me truly alive?” to “What’s a belief I hold that most disagree with?” – and just write. It’s incredibly freeing, but often leaves me with a sprawling mess of thoughts.

    Lately, though, I’ve been experimenting with a new layer to this practice: AI analysis. And the results have been surprisingly profound.

    What you’ll find inside:

    From Stream of Consciousness to Structured Insight

    Let’s be honest, sometimes my journal entries read like a brain dump. Valuable, maybe, but lacking clear structure. That’s where AI comes in. I paste my entries into an AI chatbot (I’ve been experimenting with Gemmini, Grok and Deepseek) and ask it to analyze the post. Specifically, I ask it to summarize the overall impression, identify key themes, and point out any recurring patterns.

    What’s a childhood dream you’ve let go of, and what did that loss teach you about yourself?

    @gabriel.live.24

    The first time I tried it, I was skeptical. Could an algorithm really understand my inner world? But the analysis was eerily accurate. It pulled out nuances I hadn’t consciously recognized, and synthesized my scattered thoughts into a coherent narrative.

    For all interested, I am using a self hosted version, since I am not trusting anyone with my personal data.

    Why This Works: The Power of External Perspective

    We’re notoriously bad at objectively analyzing ourselves. Our brains are wired to confirm existing beliefs and filter out information that challenges them. AI, on the other hand, provides a neutral, external perspective. It doesn’t have emotional baggage or pre-conceived notions. It simply identifies patterns and provides insights based on the data.

    This doesn’t mean the AI is telling me what to think. It’s more like a skilled mirror, reflecting my own thoughts back to me in a new light. It allows me to step outside of my own head and see myself with greater clarity.

    How This Habit is Leading to More Clarity in Life

    Here’s how combining journaling with AI analysis has impacted my life:

    • Deeper Self-Awareness: I’m uncovering hidden beliefs, motivations, and patterns of behavior I wasn’t aware of before.
    • More Coherent Narrative: The AI helps me connect the dots between different entries, creating a more cohesive understanding of my life story.
    • Improved Decision-Making: By identifying my core values and priorities, I’m making more intentional choices that align with my authentic self.
    • Increased Emotional Intelligence: The process of analyzing my own thoughts and feelings is helping me better understand my emotional landscape.
    • A Shift from Reaction to Reflection: I’m moving away from simply reacting to life’s events and towards a more thoughtful, reflective approach.

    Is This Right for You?

    I’m not suggesting that AI should replace traditional journaling. The act of writing itself is incredibly valuable. But if you’re looking for a way to take your journaling practice to the next level, I highly recommend experimenting with AI analysis.

    Here are a few tips to get started:

    • Be specific with your prompts. Instead of just asking the AI to “analyze my entry,” ask it to focus on specific themes or patterns.
    • Don’t blindly accept the AI’s analysis. Use it as a starting point for further reflection.
    • Remember that the AI is just a tool. Ultimately, the insights you gain are your own.

    This isn’t about letting an algorithm define you. It’s about harnessing the power of AI to unlock your own self-understanding and create a more meaningful life. It’s about going beyond the page to truly see yourself.

    Looking for inspiration for new journaling prompts? I share mine on threads @gabriel.live.24

  • Stuck in a Rut? ‘The Little Book of Clarity’ Offers a Surprisingly Simple Solution

    Stuck in a Rut? ‘The Little Book of Clarity’ Offers a Surprisingly Simple Solution

    Do you ever feel like you’re running on a treadmill, constantly busy but not actually getting anywhere? Like you’re striving for goals that don’t truly resonate, or trapped in a cycle of self-doubt? You’re not alone. In a world that glorifies ‘hustle,’ it’s easy to lose touch with what really matters.

    What you’ll find inside:

    Jamie Smart, a former therapist and clarity coach, offers a refreshing alternative in his book, The Little Book of Clarity. This isn’t another self-help book filled with empty affirmations. Smart presents a surprisingly simple, yet profoundly effective, framework for breaking free from the ‘busy being’ and reconnecting with your authentic self. The Little Book of Clarity offers a path to a more fulfilling life, not through doing more, but through being more.

    The core problem: The ‘busy being’ vs. the ‘real you’

    Smart argues that we often identify with our activities – our jobs, our roles, our to-do lists. We become a ‘busy being’ – defined by what we do rather than who we are. This leads to a constant need for external validation and a feeling of emptiness, even when we achieve our goals.

    The problem isn’t that we’re not doing enough; it’s that we’re disconnected from our core desires and authentic selves. We’re chasing things that should make us happy, instead of tuning into what actually does. I’d call it the productivity trap and felt victim to that multiple times.

    According to the author, the state of clarity is based on three pillars:

    Uncover Your Core Desire: The first step to clarity is identifying what truly motivates you. Not what you think should motivate you, or what your parents or society expects, but what genuinely excites and energizes you. Smart guides you through a process of self-discovery, helping you to peel back the layers of conditioning and uncover your deepest desires. This isn’t about finding a ‘passion’ – it’s about recognizing the underlying feeling that drives you.

    Recognize Your Limiting Beliefs: Once you’re aware of your core desire, the next step is to identify the beliefs that are holding you back. These might be negative thoughts and self-limiting assumptions that sabotage your efforts. Smart provides practical tools for challenging these beliefs and replacing them with more empowering ones. He emphasizes that beliefs aren’t facts – they’re simply stories we tell ourselves. Sounds familiar for all of us who read the book “Biology of Believe“.

    The Power of Non-Doing (and Allowing): This is where The Little Book of Clarity truly stands out. Smart introduces the concept of ‘non-doing’ – letting go of the need to control everything and allowing things to unfold naturally. This isn’t about being passive; it’s about trusting that you already have everything you need within you. It’s about creating space for inspiration and allowing your core desire to manifest without force. Also here, the idea of being vs doing isn’t new. Think of the concept of flow described by Csíkszentmihályi.

    Habits to apply the framework

    These aren’t about adding more to your to-do list. They’re about subtly shifting your awareness and interrupting old patterns.

    1. Notice the “stories” you are telling yourself

    Action: Throughout the day, actively listen to the narratives running through your head. What are you telling yourself about your situation, other people, and yourself? Write them down if it helps.

    Why It Works: We often operate on autopilot, believing our thoughts are facts. Noticing your “stories” creates distance. It allows you to see them as interpretations rather than reality. This is the first step in breaking free from limiting beliefs and reactive patterns. It’s like realizing you’re watching a movie – you’re not in the movie.

    2. Mind the “Gap”

    Action: Pay attention to the difference between what is happening and your interpretation of it. For example, a colleague doesn’t respond to your email. The fact is they haven’t replied. The gap is your story about why – “They’re ignoring me,” “They think I’m incompetent,” etc.

    Why It Works: The “gap” is where suffering is created. It’s the space between reality and your judgment of it. By recognizing this gap, you can choose to focus on the facts rather than getting caught up in your interpretations. This reduces emotional reactivity and allows you to respond more skillfully.

    3. “Three Deep Breaths” – Interrupt the Pattern

    Action: When you notice yourself getting caught up in a negative thought spiral or emotional reaction, pause and take three slow, deep breaths. Focus solely on the sensation of your breath.

    Why It Works: Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for the “rest and digest” response. This counteracts the fight-or-flight response triggered by stress and anxiety. It creates a momentary pause, disrupting the automatic pattern and giving you space to choose a different response. It’s a simple but powerful reset button.

    4. “What’s Possible Now?” – Shift Your Focus

    Action: Instead of dwelling on problems or past mistakes, ask yourself, “What’s possible now?” Focus on the next small step you can take, even if it seems insignificant.

    Why It Works: This question shifts your attention from what’s wrong to what’s available. It activates a sense of agency and possibility, breaking you out of a victim mentality. It’s about moving from being stuck in the past to creating a future you desire.

    Conclusion

    This book is perfect for anyone feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or disconnected from their true selves.The Little Book of Clarity isn’t about fixing yourself; it’s about remembering who you already are. By uncovering your core desire, challenging your limiting beliefs, and embracing the power of non-doing, you can unlock your potential and create a life filled with joy, purpose, and fulfillment. If you’re ready to break free from the ‘busy being’ and reconnect with your authentic self, I highly recommend giving this book a read.

  • Deep Work – more than productivity hack

    Deep Work – more than productivity hack

    For months, “Deep Work” by Cal Newport popped up in my social media feeds as a productivity bible, a game-changer for focus, and the key to thriving in a distracted world. Honestly, I was starting to wonder what all the hype was about!

    In a culture obsessed with “busy,” and where simply appearing productive often takes precedence, I decided to finally pick up a copy and see if Newport’s arguments held water. Because let’s be real, in a world that rewards hustle, it’s easy to fall into the trap of prioritizing quantity of work over quality.

    What you’ll find inside:

    This book promises a path to doing the opposite – to produce truly meaningful work, and to do it with intention. In this blogpost, I’ll share what resonated with me, and ultimately, tell you whether or not this book lives up to its reputation.

    Is Your Work Valuable? (And Why It Might Not Be)

    Ever feel like you’re busy all day, but haven’t actually accomplished anything truly meaningful? You’re not alone. Cal Newport argues that we’re rapidly entering an economy where the ability to perform “deep work” – focused, distraction-free concentration that pushes your cognitive capabilities to their limit – is becoming increasingly valuable, and frankly, rare.

    He posits that routine cognitive tasks are increasingly being automated. And we see this already today, that certain tasks are being fulfilled by AI. With the rise of Agentic AI, this trend might get even more traction. This means being ‘busy’ isn’t enough nor “shallow work” is something we can expect to be paid for in future.

    In essence, deep work isn’t just a productivity hack; it’s a skill. The ability to deeply focus, to wrestle with complex problems without distraction, is becoming the most valuable skill you can possess.

    Deep work isn’t about working more; it’s about working differently. It’s about reclaiming your attention and intentionally cultivating the ability to focus intensely. If you’re feeling increasingly overwhelmed and unfulfilled in your work, or worried about the future of your career, understanding the principles of deep work might just be the key to not only surviving, but thriving in the years to come.

    Beyond the Hype: Where “Deep Work” Feels Shallow

    While Newport paints a compelling picture of a future demanding “deep work,” it’s easy to fall into the narrative of seeing it as a revolutionary prophecy rather than a nuanced observation.

    The AI Revolution: Prophecy or Premature Celebration? This book has a compelling case for the rising value of “deep work” in an age of automation, predicting a future where those who can think critically will thrive. But let’s be honest: the “AI revolution” has been perpetually “just around the corner” for decades. While AI is undoubtedly advancing, the claim that it will fundamentally reshape the economy and create a clear divide between “deep” and “shallow” workers feels optimistic, to say the least. It’s a compelling narrative, certainly, but one built on a lot of “what ifs” and a somewhat selective reading of technological history. Maybe shallow work will just move along as we do into new jobs and functions.

    Distraction Isn’t the Problem – Our Brains Are.

    The book frames the struggle for focus as a modern affliction, exacerbated by smartphones and social media. But this feels like treating a symptom, not the disease. The real issue isn’t the increase of distraction, but the decades-long conditioning of our brains to crave instant gratification. From sugary cereals marketed to children to the endless scroll of social media feeds, our environment has systematically trained us to seek dopamine hits, eroding our capacity for sustained attention. We’ve become addicted to novelty.

    The Lost Art of Deep Thinking: A Matter of Neuroplasticity.

    This conditioning isn’t just a matter of willpower; it’s a neurological reality. Our brains are remarkably plastic, meaning they adapt to the stimuli they receive. Years of constant stimulation and instant gratification have literally rewired our brains, making it harder to focus, concentrate, and engage in deep, complex thought. It’s not that we can’t focus; it’s that our brains have been trained not to. The challenge isn’t simply eliminating distractions; it’s actively retraining our brains to resist them. While eliminating distractions is a good start, I hoped to learn more about what we can do to revert this conditioning.

    Habits derived from “Deep Work”

    The following are three habits, I derived from this book.

    Habit: 15-Minute Drift

    Every day, at a set time (e.g., after lunch, before dinner), I dedicate 15 minutes to intentional doing nothing. I sit comfortably, close my eyes (or gaze softly out a window), and simply allow my thoughts to wander. No phone, no book, no music – just quiet observation of whatever arises.

    Why it Works: This isn’t laziness; it’s cognitive rest. Our brains aren’t designed for constant, focused attention. This “drift” time allows the Default Mode Network (DMN) to activate. The DMN is responsible for creativity, problem-solving, and consolidating memories. By letting your mind wander, you’re essentially letting your unconscious mind process information and recharge, leading to improved focus and deeper work when you do concentrate. It’s like defragging a computer.

    Shot-down ritual to have peace in mind of today’s work assignments, but plan for the next day. Especially relevant for home office work!

    Habit: Daily Closure

    At the end of my workday, spend 5-10 minutes to recap all loose ends. I review my completed tasks, quickly note any unfinished items, and specifically write down the 1-3 most important things I need to tackle first tomorrow.

    Why it Works: This ritual creates psychological closure. It prevents work from bleeding into your personal time, which is especially crucial when your office is in your home. The act of planning the next day reduces anxiety about what needs to be done, and prioritizing those 1-3 tasks ensures you start with the most impactful work.

    Habit: Time Blocking

    Every Sunday evening, I create a detailed schedule for the entire week, blocking out 30-60 minute segment for the most important, high-value tasks (the “payout” tasks) when my energy is highest. I treat these blocks as appointments I can’t break, and I strictly adhere to the schedule, including breaks and buffer time.

    Why it Works: This is a powerful application of Parkinson’s Law (work expands to fill the time available). By timeboxing, you create artificial deadlines that force focus and prevent procrastination. Prioritizing high-value tasks first ensures you make progress on what truly matters, even if unexpected things come up. The detailed schedule reduces decision fatigue (you don’t have to constantly decide what to work on) and promotes a sense of control over your time. It’s about being proactive, not reactive. Over time, you get a feeling on how long these blocks should be. If the task is not finished, don’t extend your block but start with the next task.

    Conclusion

    The fact that this book resonates with the audience underlines the problem that many face with concentrating especially at work. While there are already several productivity and time management practices laid out with concepts like Eisenhower Matrix, GTD or Pomodoro Technique, the most important aspect of this book to understand that distraction is present and you can do something about it.

  • Be responsible – unique skill for self-growth

    Be responsible – unique skill for self-growth

    Accept that you are responsible for your current life situation. Bad things happen to us every day. But it is about how we (re)act and what choices we make.

    What you’ll find inside:

    Life seems less of a burden, when you have someone else to blame. It takes courage to stand up for yourself. Once you get used to it, you will feel more energetic out of your victories and less anxious of consequence from failure.

    Being responsible does not stop at admitting when you have done something wrong. This is a first, but important step of a journey. It will take practice to get used to apologize. Once you get used to it, the “you’re responsible” mindset will make you try really hard to give all you have in order to fill this role of a responsible person. You will try to live up to your expectations.

    And as you don’t want to be responsible for everything, you will have to make up your mind on what is important to you.

    Responsibility – what’s the point

    What is it that you care so much about, that it is a no-brainer, you want it to be successful, safe, whole or just there for you and others. Is it your partner, your cat or your job?

    But others come second – you have to feel responsible for yourself first and this is your body and your mind. Without you being well, there is not much you will be able to do for others on the long run.

    Let us start with your mind: It is your reaction to external circumstances that you cannot control that is crucial when takin responsibility for yourself. Because who you give responsibility has the authority over you. Life is full of situations that are beyond our control, such as the weather, traffic, or other people’s actions. For example, getting upset about heavy traffic won’t make the cars move faster, but it will increase your stress levels. If you’re feeling moody simply because clouds are obscuring the sun, then you’re allowing the weather to dictate your mood.

    Neither me or you want to be dependent on random events – this is majorly stupid, but sometime, this is what we do. Therefore how you choose to respond to these circumstances is very important. You can’t control the situation, but you can control your reaction to it. This will greatly influence your happiness, stress levels, and overall well-being.

    If you blame external circumstances or other people for your feelings or actions, you’re essentially giving them authority over your life. However, if you take responsibility for your responses, you retain the authority and control over your own life. For example, instead of saying “The traffic made me late,” you could say “I didn’t plan enough time for traffic delays.” This shifts the responsibility back to you and gives you the authority to make changes in the future.

    Know what is important for you

    Accept that you are in control of what you think and how you perceive everything you read, hear or see. Observe how your brain filters all this information and molds your perception of your current situation based on your beliefs and past experiences.

    Once you acknowledge that you’re personally accountable for every aspect of your life, you truly become responsible for everything in it. However, this can be overwhelming and turn into a pitfall, as you can’t “boil the ocean” and you should not. If you know already what matters to you most, focus on it solely.

    In case you are not certain of the things that truly matter to you, start the other way around. Decide what is not important to you, and start saying “No” to those things in life. To help you with that try the following two questions to reflect:

    • Am I only doing this task out of habit, guilt, or a sense of obligation, rather than genuine necessity or desire?
    • What would happen if I simply stopped doing this task, and is that outcome acceptable to me?

    Reflecting on your answer to those questions will help to find a way forward. And if it turn out, that you took the wrong path – apologize (also to yourself) and take responsibility to change your course in life.

    Habits to strengthen your sense of responsibility

    By cultivating these habits you’ll develop a stronger sense of responsibility and become more adept at focusing your energy on the things that truly matter.

    1. Choose what you care about

    Action: Prioritize what truly matters to you based on your core values. Make a conscious decision to care about and invest your energy in those things. Ignore or disengage from trivial or unimportant issues.

    Why it works: Focusing on what’s truly important helps you take responsibility for your priorities. Choosing your battles wisely conserves energy and reduces stress. Aligning your actions with your values fosters a sense of purpose and accountability.

    2. Take Responsibility for Your Problems

    Action: Accept that problems are a natural part of life and that you are responsible for addressing them. Instead of blaming others or external circumstances, focus on what you can control. Ask yourself, “What can I do to improve or resolve this situation?”

    Why it works: Taking ownership of your problems empowers you to find solutions. Focusing on what you can control fosters proactive responsibility. Accepting problems as natural helps you build resilience and emotional maturity.

    3. Practice Rejection and Failure

    Action: Deliberately seek out experiences where you might face rejection or failure. Embrace these experiences as opportunities for growth and learning. Reflect on what you’ve gained from each experience, regardless of the outcome.

    Why it works: Facing rejection and failure builds emotional resilience and mental toughness. Embracing these experiences helps you take responsibility for your actions and their consequences. Learning from failures fosters continuous personal growth and improvement.

    Conclusion

    • Taking responsibility for your life puts you in the driver’s seat, allowing you to make decisions and shape your future.
    • Accepting responsibility fosters self-awareness, emotional maturity, and resilience.
    • It helps you make better, more informed decisions that align with your values and goals.
    • In order to feel responsible, you’ll have to know what you care about and what to skip.
    • Finally taking responsibility reduces your feelings of helplessness and victimhood.
  • Proof: Better Beliefs Lead To Better Biology

    Proof: Better Beliefs Lead To Better Biology

    While there are several books about positive thinking, this book provides scientific proof on the impact of positive thinking and negative perception. If you want to explore the biological processes that drive how our cells function and their relevance to your life, read “Biology of Belief” by Bruce Lipton.

    What you’ll find inside:

    Cooperation instead competition

    In school we learned about the “survival of the fittest” principle. This is based on Darwins theory which describes that random genetic mutations. Some genetic mutations help individuals to adopt better to their environment and are beneficial for survival. These genes are passed on to the offspring, encouraging evolutionary progress.

    Lipton points out Lamarck’s view as closer to our current understanding of evolution. The french biologist named Jean-Baptiste Lamarck Lamarck points out cooperation between species and individuals as extremely important to evolution. This is being untermauert with several examples in the book. For example when our antibodies successfully fought a virus, they “remember” how to kill it. This is then passed on to the antibody’s daughter cells. Also symbiotic relationships like each of us has with our gut bacteria, that help us to digest, are good examples of cooperation and evolution.

    So genes, the blueprint of our cells, don’t necessarily have to be passed on through reproduction, but genetic patterns can evolve independently in response to similar environmental conditions and can be shared with members of other species.

    In this context it is worth to mention the fact that Wallace Wattle in his book “the Science of getting Rich” published in 1910 also emphasises the need to transform from a competitive mind to a creative one. Read more in my blogpost “In 1910 someone discovered the science of getting rich“

    Cells membrane is what controls the cell

    Lipton did a lot of research on cells with the goal to find out what controls it or e.g. more relevant for us what turns a regular cell into a cancer cell. Following Darwins theory, it has to be in the genes, that tells the cell how to develop. But Lipton did an interesting experiment by removing the nucleus and by that all genes, the cell was still alive. It could not reproduce, but was still functional.

    Lipton identified the cell membrane and their receptors as a crucial structure that acts as a barrier and a communication hub. It is embedded with receptors — proteins that can detect and bind to specific energy signals or molecules in the environment.

    When energy signals or biochemical signals interact with the receptors on a cell’s membrane, this interaction triggers a series of reactions inside the cell. Lipton emphasizes that the environment plays a critical role in cellular behavior.

    Every living cell and organism produces energy signals in the form of electromagnetic fields, biochemical signals, and other types of subtle energy. Since cells are constantly receiving signals from their surroundings, this means that a change in the environment — whether it’s physical, emotional, or energetic — can significantly affect cellular responses. For instance, stress hormones can influence cellular behaviour in a way that might lead to negative health outcomes, whereas positive stimuli might promote healing and well-being.

    “It’s the environment, Stupid”

    by Dr. Bruce Lipton, The Biology of Belief

    This lead to the conclusion that the cell membrane is responsible for controlling the behaviour of the cell based on the signal it receives from its environment. By the way the illustration of a cell membrane as butter olive sandwich will stay forever in my head.

    Get in control of your environment

    This findings conclude that our mental and emotional states, as well as our beliefs and perceptions, can influence the energy signals we emit and thus affect the behaviour of our cells. By fostering positive thoughts and reducing stress, you may be able to positively influence your cellular health and overall well-being.

    Many of our beliefs are part of our subconscious mind. Beliefs frequently develop during formative years, often in childhood and early adolescence, through experiences, teachings, and emotional responses. Lipton states that up until you were six years old, the brains frequency is theta. A brain state, where yogis meditate or you sleep. This state enables kids to “download” information by observing and mimicking others. These early experiences are largely absorbed by the subconscious mind, where they can shape your perceptions, attitudes, and beliefs about yourself and the world.

    “Your beliefs act like a filter on a camera, changing how you see the world.”

    – by Dr. Bruce Lipton, The Biology of Belief

    Now, here’s the tricky part: Many beliefs ingrained in the subconscious lead to automatic thoughts and behaviours. If you observe it carefully you will find yourself reacting very emotionally to an ordinary situation. Like getting 🤯 over a tube of toothpaste left uncapped. Another example is someone with a belief that they are not worthy of love may unconsciously sabotage relationships, even if they consciously desire connection.

    While subconscious beliefs can be deeply rooted, they are not immutable. Practices such as mindfulness, therapy, positive affirmations, and visualisation can help you access and reprogram your subconscious beliefs. The goal is to replace limiting beliefs with more empowering ones, which can lead to changes in behavior and emotional well-being.

    In summary, our beliefs are often stored in the subconscious mind, influencing our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours in ways that we may not be fully aware of. Understanding this relationship enables you to explore and, if desired, change your beliefs to promote personal growth and positive change.

    In case you want to hear and see instead of reading Liptons book, watch this video from one of Tony Robbins seminars.

    Derived habits from “Biology of Belief”

    You need to be aware, in order to feel responsible. These habits can help you to be more aware of your current beliefs.

    1. Journaling for Self-Reflection:

    • Action: Dedicate at least 10-15 minutes each day to journaling. Focus on your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, particularly in areas where you notice patterns or challenges.
    • How It Helps: Writing can help expose underlying beliefs that may be influencing your behaviour. Reflect on specific triggers or situations that evoke strong emotions and ask yourself what beliefs might be behind those feelings. Look for recurring themes, assumptions, or narratives that arise in your writing.

    2. Mindfulness and Meditation Practices:

    • Action: Incorporate mindfulness or meditation into your daily routine, even if just for a few minutes. You can start with guided meditations focused on awareness and self-discovery, or simply practice being mindful of your thoughts throughout your day.
    • How It Helps: Mindfulness allows you to observe your thoughts and beliefs without judgment. This practice can increase your awareness of automatic thought patterns and help you differentiate between your conscious desires and subconscious beliefs. It cultivates a sense of inner peace and clarity, making it easier to identify and address limiting beliefs.

    3. Affirmations and Reframing Techniques:

    • Action: Create a set of positive affirmations that counter your limiting beliefs. For example, if you believe “I am not good enough,” reframe it as “I am capable and deserving of success.” Practice these affirmations daily—consider saying them aloud in front of a mirror or writing them down.
    • How It Helps: Repeating positive affirmations can help overwrite negative subconscious beliefs over time. This technique encourages a shift in mindset and reinforces empowering beliefs. Additionally, when you encounter situations that trigger old beliefs, consciously reframe those thoughts by identifying a more positive or constructive perspective.

    By incorporating these habits into your daily routine, you can cultivate greater awareness of your subconscious beliefs and work towards transforming any limiting beliefs into more empowering ones.

    Consistency is key, so try to engage in these practices regularly to observe meaningful shifts over time.

    Conclusion

    • Good news: It is not your genetics (fault) who you are.
    • Your cells need stimulation from the environment in order to grow or protect themselves.
    • It is the environment that shapes us paired with our beliefs on how we perceive the environment.
    • Our unconscious mind is where most of our beliefs are.
    • With a conscious mind, we can control this environment and how we react to it.

    If you found this post helpful, consider sharing it with someone who could benefit from it. Also leave a comment, if you have own experience to share.