Gabriel.LIVE

Tag: mindset

  • Using Self‑Awareness and Emotional Insight for Personal Growth

    Using Self‑Awareness and Emotional Insight for Personal Growth

    I’ve spent most of my life treating the brain like a finely tuned machine—inputs, outputs, algorithms, all neatly mapped out. As an analytical thinker, emotions felt like a side‑project: curious signals that I noticed, but never really used to steer my life. Growing up, I was taught to see feelings as messengers from my body, warning me of danger or satisfaction, but they were always something to be observed, not a compass.

    It wasn’t until I picked up Master Your Emotions by Thibaut Meurisse that revealed a totally different perspective. Meurisse didn’t just reframe emotions as data; he showed me how to turn those data points into deliberate, growth‑oriented decisions.

    What you’ll find inside:

    In this post, I’ll share that journey—from puzzlement to purpose—exploring how self‑awareness and emotional insight set the foundation for personal growth. If you’ve ever felt your rational mind at odds with your gut, or wondered how to make emotions work for you, keep reading. The first step to freedom is recognizing that you are not the sum of your feelings; you are the observer, and you hold the keys to unlock them.

    Your Brain’s Primary Mission

    Think of the brain as a cybernetic control system whose primary objective is to maintain homeostasis – a state of steady internal physical and chemical conditions (also read Rewire your brain). Evolution engineered a hierarchy of priorities: hunger, safety, reproduction. Joy, in contrast, is a secondary reward signal—a by‑product of achieving those primary goals.

    If you model the brain’s reward circuitry in a simple loop, the dopamine pathway is the “output” that signals success. But the input—the stimulus that triggers dopamine—doesn’t come from abstract happiness. It’s rooted in concrete, measurable events that signal safety or resource acquisition: a full plate, a secure shelter, a partnership.

    This architecture explains why fleeting pleasures often feel hollow. The system is wired to flag immediate threats or gains, not to evaluate the quality of an emotion.

    External Events vs. Inner State

    A common analytical intuition is that cause and effect are linear. Yet, long‑term satisfaction isn’t a simple function of external events. (also read: Thinking in Systems). Instead, it’s a complex mapping:

    Happiness = f(Interpretation | Event)

    In other words, how we interpret a given event largely determines our lasting emotional state.

    Example: The “Salary Increase” Paradox

    You receive a 5 % raise. The objective data: income raises leading to  comfort raises. However, if you interpret the raise as a sign of “I’m indispensable,” your self‑efficacy rises and so does long‑term satisfaction. If you interpret it as “I still need to prove myself,” anxiety spikes.

    The key takeaway is that interpretation is the variable you can control. By systematically auditing how you map external stimuli to internal states, you gain a powerful lever over your emotional landscape.

    What the Ego Is and Why It Matters

    In psychological terms, the ego is an internal narrative that gives coherence to identity. It’s built from a sequence of thoughts—“I am a good coder”, “I must be perfect”, “I need approval”. These statements lack empirical grounding; they’re constructed by your mind to make sense of your experience.

    Think of the ego as a model that you continually update based on new data. Just as a machine learning system updates its weights when new samples arrive, the ego updates its narrative when new events occur. The danger? The model can become biased if its training data is skewed—e.g., a single negative feedback can disproportionately weight a “I’m incompetent” label.

    The Illusion of “Having = Being”

    The ego frequently equates possession or status with self‑worth:

    • “I have a fancy car → I’m valuable.”
    • “I have a high title → I’m superior.”

    This creates a feedback loop: we acquire more to satisfy the ego, but each acquisition merely reinforces the illusion.This is akin to a self‑reinforcing algorithm that never converges. (also read: How Your Vocabulary Molds Your Reality)

    Ego thrives on low self‑awareness. When we don’t question our internal narratives, the ego becomes a dominant variable that shapes decisions.

    Conversely, high self‑awareness allows the ego to be observed rather than acted upon. By treating ego narratives as data points rather than truths, we can identify and prune the noise.

    Attachment, Beliefs, and the Emotional Cycle

    The process Attachment to Belief to Emotion is iterative:

    1. Attachment – we latch onto something (people, objects, ideas).
    2. Belief – we assign a value or expectation to that attachment (e.g., “I must be loved by X”).
    3. Emotion – the attachment + belief triggers an emotional response (e.g., fear, joy).

    If the attachment is fragile (e.g., a transient relationship), the belief may be over‑inflated, leading to strong emotional swings.

    This restlessness—the monkey mind—is the cognitive noise that keeps us oscillating between attachments. For analytical minds, this is the equivalent of overfitting: the system constantly adjusts to noise rather than underlying patterns.

    Negative emotions often feel like alerts—“something’s wrong.” But the crucial insight is that they are informative, not pathological.

    • Fear signals a mismatch between expectation and reality.
    • Sadness indicates a loss or a misalignment between goals and current state.

    By treating them as diagnostic signals, we can conduct a root‑cause analysis and adjust either the attachment or the belief.

    5. Self‑Awareness as the Key to Freedom

    Imagine setting up a real‑time monitoring dashboard for your thoughts and feelings. You capture each event (e.g., “I felt annoyed at the email”), tag it (e.g., “cognitive distortion: catastrophizing”), and then pause before reacting. This is called “Observing Without Identification”.

    The act of not identifying with the event is akin to separating the signal from the noise. You view the emotion as a transient data packet that will dissipate if you don’t feed it the amplification circuit of rumination.

    When you let the emotion pass, you essentially drop a data point from the influence set of your decision‑making model. That reduces variance.

    • Experiment: Notice when you feel a negative emotion. Instead of reacting, label it (“I am feeling frustrated”) and then observe the rest of the day. Side remark: the word “feeling” makes a difference while labeling the emotion. Without it you might subconsciously identify yourself with the emotion – but you are not your emotions.
    • Result: The emotional intensity tends to subside, demonstrating that amplification is the primary driver of emotional persistence.

    Attention is the energy that fuels emotional responses. By redirecting focus to awareness—the neutral observer—you shift the energy vector away from the emotional output and toward cognitive clarity.

    Analytically, this is a resource reallocation problem: you re‑balance your internal bandwidth from reactive to proactive states.

    6. Practical Tools for Everyday Practice

    Below are concrete, data‑driven techniques that helped me as an analytical person.

    • Emotional Journaling: Record feelings for a week, noting triggers and patterns.
      Why it matters: Provides empirical data for trend analysis
      A simple example is:
      • Time: 9:45
      • Event: Email from manager “Need this EoB”
      • Emotion: Anxiety
      • Interpretation: I’m incompetent
      • Alternative interpretation: I can do this and need to prioritize.
    • High‑Power Poses: Adopt a posture (e.g., standing tall) for 2 minutes.
      Why it matters: Activates the “self‑efficacy” circuit—improved body language correlates with confidence.
    • Compliment Acceptance: Accept praise without immediately internalizing it as self‑worth.
      Why it matters: Prevents your ego from re‑encoding the compliment as a permanent belief.

    Notice the shift from self‑defeating to situational interpretations after applying the alternative lens.

    Take‑away: Reclaiming Your Life

    1. You are not your ego or emotions. They are ephemeral phenomena that arise and fade. By observing them, you create a buffer zone between stimulus and response.
    2. Change starts with the story you tell yourself. Reframe “I’m a coder” into “I’m a curious problem‑solver”. This subtle shift moves the ego from identity validation to skill evolution.
    3. Act with awareness of values, purpose, and inner reality. Let your decision‑making be guided by principles rather than temporary emotions.

    For the analytical thinker, the ultimate lesson is that emotions are data. When you treat them as such—observed, categorized, and leveraged—you gain the freedom to navigate modern life with precision, resilience, and a deeper sense of self.

  • “Solve for Happy” Changed My Perspective on Suffering and Joy

    “Solve for Happy” Changed My Perspective on Suffering and Joy

    I remember scrolling through podcast episodes, as prep for a business trip, when I stumbled upon an interview with Tony Robbins and Mo Gawdat. Gawdat, a former Chief Technology Officer at Google X, wasn’t talking about AI or groundbreaking tech. He was talking about happiness. That, in itself, was unusual. But it was how he talked about it that truly grabbed my attention.

    What you’ll find inside:

    He spoke with a quiet authority, a profound calm, and a story that was… devastating. His son, Ali, had tragically passed away, and Gawdat had embarked on a journey to understand how to navigate such immense grief, not by avoiding it, but by fundamentally changing his relationship to it.

    If you observe the people close to you, some are seemingly unflappable in the face of hardship, and I wonder: what’s their secret? Why are some capable of finding something positive, even in the darkest of times, while others feel almost miserable if little things didn’t work out?

    Gawdat’s story, and the framework he developed in his book, “Solve for Happy,” offered an answer, and it wasn’t what I expected. It wasn’t about positive thinking or “looking on the bright side.” It was about understanding the engineering of happiness, the underlying mechanisms that create our experience of joy and suffering.

    Happiness: The Default Setting

    The core idea of “Solve for Happy” is surprisingly simple: happiness is our default state. Think about a baby. Before the world layers on expectations, trauma, and learned patterns, they are pure, unadulterated joy. They aren’t worried about the future or dwelling on the past. They’re simply experiencing the present moment.

    Read also: “Flow – the psychology of optimal experience”  by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi

    Gawdat argues that this inherent joy isn’t lost, it’s masked. Our brains, designed for survival, constantly analyze, predict, and categorize, creating a complex web of beliefs and expectations that ultimately distort our perception of reality. We are, essentially, running a constant, complex algorithm, and the results are rarely what we think they are.

    Read also: Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz, where he depicts that your brain is goal seeking machine

    The Illusions and Blindspots: Where the Algorithm Fails

    This algorithm, as Gawdat describes it, is riddled with illusions and blindspots. Here are a few key ones:

    • The Illusion of Control: We desperately believe we can control external events. We plan, strategize, and worry, all in an attempt to shape the world around us. But the truth is, a huge amount of life is unpredictable. Accepting this isn’t about resignation, it’s about freeing yourself from unnecessary suffering.
    • The Illusion of Separation: We perceive ourselves as separate from the world, from other people, from the universe. This creates feelings of loneliness, fear, and inadequacy. Recognizing our interconnectedness can foster empathy, compassion, and a sense of belonging.
    • The Illusion of Time: We get stuck in the past (regret, resentment) or the future (anxiety, worry), missing the beauty and opportunity of the present moment. Our brains are excellent at remembering and predicting, but terrible at experiencing the now.
    • The Limitation of Imperfection: We hold ourselves and others to unrealistic standards, leading to disappointment and frustration. Accepting imperfection is key to fostering self-compassion and building healthy relationships.

    The Story We Tell Ourselves

    Crucially, Gawdat argues that the events themselves aren’t the source of our suffering. It’s our interpretation of those events. Our brains are constantly constructing narratives, filling in gaps, and assigning meaning. None of these narratives are “reality” – they’re just stories we tell ourselves.

    Read also: “Don’t Believe Everything You Think.” by Joseph Nguyen

    Think about a time someone apologized to you. The apology doesn’t erase the event that caused pain. But it changes how you feel about it, right? Because it alters the narrative. It signals a shift in intention, a recognition of harm, and an offer of reconciliation. This realignment between your internal world and the external world, Gawdat argues, is what brings relief.

    This leads to a powerful point: thinking alone has no impact on the reality of our lives. Endless analysis, rumination, and worry don’t solve problems, they create them. Overthinking doesn’t prepare you for the future; it steals the joy from the present. It’s a waste of precious mental energy, and it leads only to suffering with no benefits whatsoever.

    Remember: Always look on the bright side of life.

    Choosing Happiness: A Conscious Act

    Happiness, then, isn’t something that happens to you; it’s something you choose. It starts with awareness – a conscious recognition of your emotions, thoughts, and patterns. You have to become the observer of your own mind, rather than being swept away by its currents.

    Gawdat proposes several habits to cultivate this awareness. He emphasizes the importance of reframing your thinking and focusing on what you can control. Here are a few that I’ve found particularly helpful:

    • Success Journal: This isn’t about listing achievements. It’s about intentionally rewriting your brain to see the positive events in your life. Each day, write down at least five things that went well, no matter how small. It retrains your brain to focus on abundance and gratitude.
    • Awareness Break: Several times a day, pause and engage your senses. Recognize ten things around you, naming them, smelling them, tasting them, hearing them, feeling them. It grounds you in the present moment and disrupts the constant stream of thoughts.
    • Gratitude Walk: I’ve added this to the mix. Every morning, I go for a walk and, with each step, I consciously identify something I’m grateful for – the warmth of the sun, the sound of birds, the opportunity to breathe. It’s a simple practice, but it sets a positive tone for the entire day.

    My Biggest Takeaway from “Solve for Happy”

    If I had to distill all of Mo Gawdat’s insights in “Solve for Happy” down to a single, most impactful concept, it would be this: suffering isn’t caused by what happens to you, but by the story you tell yourself about what happens.

    While the book delves into illusions, algorithms, and practical habits, that core idea is the foundation upon which everything else is built. It’s profoundly liberating because it shifts the focus of control. We often feel helpless when life throws challenges our way, believing the events themselves are the problem. Gawdat argues that the problem isn’t the event, but the interpretation we assign to it.

    This isn’t just positive thinking; it’s a recognition of how our brains construct reality. We don’t experience events objectively; we filter them through our beliefs, past experiences, and expectations, creating a narrative that shapes our emotional response.

    Recognizing this allows you to:

    • Interrupt negative spirals: You can challenge the stories you tell yourself and reframe them in a more constructive light.
    • Reduce reactivity: You can create space between the event and your reaction, choosing how you respond instead of being swept away by automatic emotional patterns.
    • Take ownership of your happiness: You realize that you have the power to change your experience, not by changing the external world, but by changing your internal narrative.

    For me, that concept was the most impactful because it wasn’t about avoiding suffering – it’s about changing your relationship to it. It’s a shift from feeling like a victim of circumstance to becoming the author of your own experience. And that, ultimately, is a profoundly empowering realization.

    I’d love to exchange with you on this topic. Please comment or reach out to me on threads: https://www.threads.com/@gabriel.live.24

  • Silence the Doubters: How to handle “You Can’t”

    Silence the Doubters: How to handle “You Can’t”

    We’ve all been there. The well-meaning, or sometimes not-so-well-meaning, voices that consistently whisper, or even shout, “You can’t do that.” Whether it’s a family member, a colleague, or even a stranger, these pronouncements can be incredibly discouraging.

    The most significant obstacle to your success isn’t the difficulty of the task itself, but rather the negativity of others … well and sometimes also yourself.

    What you’ll find inside:

    A disclaimer (and a cucial point): this isn’t about ignoring sensible warnings or engaging in reckless behavior. Obviously, don’t rob a bank. This post isn’t a celebration of stubbornness or disregard for practicality. This blog post focuses on navigating the constant negativity of naysayers, particularly when you feel trapped in a situation where you can’t easily avoid them.

    The Baseline: Don’t Listen. (Really.)

    The core principle here is simple, but surprisingly difficult to implement: don’t listen to the “you can’ts.” More often than not, those pronouncements stem from the other person’s limited perspective, not from an objective assessment of your capabilities. They’re projecting their own fears, insecurities, and limitations onto you.

    Think about it. Someone telling you “you can’t just learn coding and start a SaaS Start-Up” might be speaking from their own fear of failure or a lack of experience in the tech-world. They may see all the potential difficulties – the cost, the work, the competition – and assume you’re incapable of overcoming them. But what they don’t see is your passion, your resourcefulness, your willingness to learn, and your unique vision.

    Also read: “Embrace Failure To Achieve Victory“

    Why Do They Say “You Can’t”?

    There are several underlying reasons why people feel the need to shut down your ideas with a blanket “you can’t.”

    • Lack of Imagination: Some people simply lack the ability to envision possibilities beyond their own experience. If they haven’t done it, it must be impossible. It’s a failure of imagination, not a judgment of your potential.
    • Projected Limiting Beliefs: This is a big one. We all carry around limiting beliefs – things we believe to be true about ourselves and the world that hold us back. When someone sees you attempting something outside their comfort zone, it can trigger their own insecurities. They subconsciously project their limitations onto you, telling you that you can’t do it because they can’t.
    • Fear of Your Success: This can be subtle, but it’s real. Your ambition and willingness to take risks might make others uncomfortable. They may fear that your success will highlight their own lack of action or courage.
    • Genuine (But Misguided) Concern: Sometimes, people think they’re protecting you from disappointment or failure. They may genuinely believe they’re offering helpful advice, but their message comes across as discouraging.

    The Self-Assessment: Are You Ready to Believe in Yourself?

    Before dismissing all naysayers entirely, it’s crucial to do a little self-assessment. Ask yourself these questions:

    • Would I be enthusiastic to tell my friends and family about it? (But don’t tell them yet!) This gauges your internal passion. If the thought energizes you, it’s a good sign. Also checks on your moral compass of what you are about to do is in the realm of your “tribe”.
    • Am I capable of imagining how I have accomplished it? Can you visualize success? Can you mentally walk through the steps? This demonstrates a degree of feasibility in your own mind. If you can almost feel what you are about to imagine, then you are on the right track.
    • Am I capable of learning it? Is the skill or knowledge required within your reach? Are you willing to invest the time and effort to acquire it? Do you know, what you don’t know?
    • Am I capable of putting into action what I learned? Do you have the discipline and motivation to translate knowledge into action? Also here, are you willing to invest the time?

    If you answer “yes” to all these questions, then the only thing left to do is… just do it. Don’t overthink it, don’t seek endless validation, and don’t make a big deal out of it.

    Read also: “Trust your instincts“

    Start taking small steps toward your goal, and let your actions speak for themselves. Once you feel traction and initial sparks of success, start the show and tell tour.

    Three Habits for Coping with the “You Can’t” Crowd

    Okay, so you’ve decided to ignore the negativity and pursue your dreams. But what about dealing with the people who constantly tell you “you can’t”? Here are three practical habits to help you cope:

    1. The “Thank You, Moving On” Technique: When someone tells you “you can’t,” simply say “Thank you for your input,” and then immediately change the subject. This acknowledges their comment without engaging in a debate or allowing it to derail your momentum.
      Why it works: It asserts your boundaries and prevents them from drawing you into a negative conversation. You’re politely but firmly shutting down their attempt to control your narrative.
    2. The “Information Diet” Strategy: Limit your exposure to the negativity. If there’s someone in your life who consistently undermines your goals, reduce the amount of time you spend with them, or avoid discussing your ambitions altogether.
      Why it works: You’re protecting your energy and creating a supportive environment for your dreams to flourish. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and constant negativity will drain your motivation.
    3. The “Reflective Question” Technique: When someone says “You can’t do that,” instead of getting defensive or arguing, respond with a calm, open-ended question. For example, “What makes you say that?” or “Can you help me understand your perspective?”. Read also “the lost art of asking“.
      Why it works: This forces the person to articulate the reason behind their doubt. Often, their reasoning is flimsy or based on assumptions. It also shifts the focus from you to their own perspective, making them examine their own limitations. It doesn’t necessarily change their mind, but it can expose the weakness of their argument.

    Final Thoughts

    The world will always have its share of naysayers and the will cross your path anyways. Don’t let their limitations define you.

    Projecting limiting beliefs is a complex interplay of cognitive biases, emotional defense mechanisms, and neurological processes. It’s rarely about intentionally trying to bring someone down, but rather a reflection of the observer’s own internal world.

    Understanding this can help us to be more empathetic towards those who project negativity, while also strengthening our own resolve to pursue our goals, regardless of what others might believe.

    Remember, the only person who can truly tell you “you can’t” is yourself.

  • “Badass Habits” and a benefit – rewriting your reality

    “Badass Habits” and a benefit – rewriting your reality

    Experiencing the positive effect of rewiring my habits for the past year, I curiously seek to understand this topic further. This is how I stumbled upon Jen Sincero’s “Badass Habits”, and something clicked. It wasn’t just about positive thinking; it was about brutally honest self-assessment and the need to actively visualize my new identity to make these habits work.

    What you’ll find inside:

    This book isn’t about quick fixes. It’s about understanding how deeply ingrained patterns – the habits we barely notice – shape our entire existence. And it’s refreshingly blunt, full of tough love and actionable strategies. Here’s a dive into the core ideas, and how they’ve helped me start building a life my future self will be proud of.

    The Cascade: Thoughts, Words, Beliefs, Habits, Reality

    Sincero lays it out powerfully: “Our thoughts become our words, our words become our beliefs, our beliefs become our habits, and our habits become our realities.” It sounds simple, but it’s profoundly impactful. Think about it. How often do we unconsciously repeat negative self-talk (“I’m not good enough,” “I always mess things up”)? These thoughts aren’t just fleeting feelings; they shape how we talk to ourselves and how we perceive the world. (read also how vocabulary molds your reality)

    Over time, these repeated thoughts solidify into beliefs. We believe we’re not good enough, so we might avoid challenges. These beliefs then drive our habits. We procrastinate, self-sabotage, or play it safe. And ultimately, those habits create our reality: a life filled with missed opportunities and a pervasive sense of unfulfillment.

    I realized I’d been stuck in this loop for years. I believed I didn’t have the time to do creative stuff, so I avoided writing, drawing, or any activity that felt “artistic”. This belief created the habit of avoiding anything creative, and unsurprisingly, I had a very unfulfilling creative life! But Sincero argues that’s nonsense. Beliefs aren’t immutable truths; they’re just stories we’ve been telling ourselves.

    Who Are You Becoming? The Power of Identity

    This is where the book really shifted my perspective. Sincero emphasizes that “When it comes to building great habits and ditching lame ones, your commitment to staying focused on who you’re becoming regardless of where you are/who you are right now is the mightiest power you’ve got.”

    Forget about being “perfect” or instantly successful. The focus isn’t on achieving a goal; it’s on becoming the person who would achieve that goal. This is about identity.

    “Shift your identity to match the habits you’re adopting.”

    Instead of saying “I want to be a writer,” you embody being a writer. You dress the part (even if it’s just comfy pajamas!), you create a dedicated writing space, and you prioritize writing time. You become the person who writes, regardless of whether you’ve published a single word.

    I started doing this with exercise. For years, I’d tried to “get in shape” with fleeting motivation. Then I decided I was becoming a “strong and healthy person.” I didn’t focus on weight loss or achieving a specific physique. I focused on feeling strong and healthy. I started small – a one push-up each day. This exercise was about embodying the kind of person who prioritizes her health and well-being. This small shift in identity made a massive difference. (also read How The Compound Effect transforms your life.)

    Awareness is the Foundation

    Sincero stresses that “The first step to making any major change in your life is always awareness.” This sounds obvious, but it’s surprisingly difficult to do. We’re so busy living on autopilot, we rarely pause to examine our thoughts, beliefs, and habits. (read From Reacting to Witnessing: A Path to Inner Growth)

    The book challenges you to brutally honest self-assessment and question your limiting beliefs and sabotaging habits. It’s uncomfortable work, but essential.

    I started journaling, not about my daily activities, but about my internal dialogue. With the help of AI reflecting on what I have written, I realized I was constantly apologizing for things that weren’t my fault, downplaying my accomplishments, and seeking external validation. These were deeply ingrained habits, fueled by a belief that I wasn’t worthy of respect.

    Re-Writing Your Narrative: Perception and Visualization

    Sincero argues that “Our “realities” are determined by how we habitually perceive ourselves and our world.” This is mind-bending, but incredibly empowering. We’re not victims of our circumstances; we’re co-creators of our reality.

    She encourages us to visualize ourselves as the hero of our own life story. Not a passive observer, but an active protagonist, facing challenges with courage and resilience. This isn’t about magical thinking; it’s about training your brain to focus on possibilities rather than limitations.

    I started a visualization practice where I imagined myself confidently navigating challenging situations, speaking my truth, and achieving my goals. It felt silly at first, but it helped me reprogram my subconscious mind and build self-confidence.

    Sincero champions the use of mantras and affirmations, but not in the fluffy, feel-good way many people approach them. She emphasizes that they need to be believable and specifically address the limiting beliefs you’re trying to overcome.

    Instead of simply saying “I am successful,” you might say, “I am capable of learning and growing, and I will take consistent action towards my goals.” This is a more realistic and empowering affirmation.

    Three Habits to Rewrite Your Reality (Inspired by “Badass Habits”)

    Here are three habits I adopted, applying the principles from the book:

    1. Daily “Truth Bomb” Journaling: This isn’t about listing your gratitude (though that’s good too). It’s about identifying a limiting belief you’re struggling with and writing a counter-argument, based on logic and evidence.
      Why it works: It forces you to actively challenge your negative thought patterns and build a more rational and empowering belief system.
    2. “Power Pose” Before Challenges : Adopt a confident posture (think Wonder Woman!) before facing a daunting task or situation.
      Why it works: Research shows that power poses can actually alter your brain chemistry, increasing testosterone and decreasing cortisol, which leads to increased confidence and reduced stress. It’s a quick and easy way to tap into your inner strength.
    3. “Future Self” Letter Writing: Once a year write a letter from your ideal future self to your current self, offering encouragement, guidance, and celebrating your successes. Why it works: It helps you clarify your vision for the future and embody the identity of the person you want to become. It’s a powerful way to stay motivated and committed to your goals or rearrange them.

    “Badass Habits” isn’t a magic bullet. It requires consistent effort, brutal honesty, and a willingness to challenge your deeply ingrained patterns. But it’s a powerful roadmap for rewriting your reality and creating a life you truly love. It’s not about becoming “perfect,” it’s about becoming the best, most badass version of yourself. And that’s a journey worth taking.

  • Beliefs & You: How They Shape Your Life & Unlock Your Potential

    Beliefs & You: How They Shape Your Life & Unlock Your Potential

    Have you ever stopped to consider why you do what you do? Not the immediate “I’m hungry, so I’m eating” reasons, but the underlying motivations, the silent assumptions guiding your choices?

    What you’ll find inside:

    The answer, more often than not, lies in the intricate web of beliefs we carry within us. These beliefs, formed early in life and continually reinforced, are the invisible architecture of our experience, shaping not only what we do, but who we are and how we think.

    Good intentions formed beliefs limiting my potential

    For years, I operated under a simple, seemingly sensible rule: don’t trust strangers. It was a directive ingrained in me by my parents, delivered with good intentions to keep me safe! And it did keep me safe, as a child.

    But as an adult, I began to notice a pattern. I wasn’t just cautious around strangers; I was instinctively skeptical of new ideas coming from anyone outside my established circle. New perspectives felt threatening. I realized this wasn’t just about physical safety. This ingrained belief had subtly colored my entire approach to learning, collaboration, and even personal growth. I was less open to new experiences and even tried to control situations avoiding new impulses. I wasn’t consciously trying to be closed off. It was simply the automatic response of a belief system honed over decades.

    This personal realization sparked a journey into understanding how these deeply held beliefs form, manifest, and ultimately, can either empower or limit us.

    How Beliefs are Built: The Foundations of Our Reality

    Beliefs aren’t born in a vacuum. They’re constructed from a variety of sources, often unconsciously.

    • Societal Conditioning: From the moment we’re born, we’re bombarded with societal norms, values, and expectations. These messages – about gender roles, success, relationships, money – forming the bedrock of many of our beliefs. For example, the belief that “hard work always leads to success” is a common societal message, even though it doesn’t always hold true!
    • Personal Experience: Our own experiences, especially those from childhood, are incredibly formative. A negative experience with a dog as a child might lead to a lifelong fear of dogs. A successful entrepreneurial venture might instill an unwavering belief in the power of taking risks.
    • Trusted Authorities: We often adopt the beliefs of people we trust and respect – parents, teachers, mentors, religious leaders. The advice, “Money doesn’t buy happiness” repeatedly echoed by a parent can shape a person’s financial perspective for life, even if they later experience happiness through financial security.
    • Repetition: The sheer repetition of a message – from advertising, media, or even casual conversations – can solidify a belief, even if it’s demonstrably false. Think about marketing campaigns that create a perceived “need” for a product you never knew you wanted.

    The Hidden Impact: Why We Struggle to See Our Beliefs

    So if these beliefs are so influential, why aren’t we more aware of them? Several factors contribute to this blind spot:

    • Automaticity: Over time, beliefs become automatic thoughts, running in the background of our consciousness. They’re like default settings on a computer – we don’t consciously think about them, they simply operate.
    • Confirmation Bias: We naturally seek out information that confirms our existing beliefs and dismiss information that contradicts them. This creates an echo chamber, reinforcing our worldview and preventing us from considering alternative perspectives. If you believe that “all politicians are corrupt,” you’ll likely focus on news stories that support that belief, ignoring examples of honest and ethical public servants.
    • Emotional Connection: Beliefs are often tied to strong emotions, making them resistant to change. Challenging a deeply held belief can feel like a personal attack, triggering defensiveness and resistance.
    • The Illusion of Objectivity: We tend to believe that our perception of reality is objective and unbiased, failing to recognize the extent to which it’s filtered through our subjective beliefs.

    This lack of awareness can be profoundly limiting. Our beliefs shape our interpretations of events, influencing our emotions, behaviors, and ultimately, our life outcomes. Imagine someone who believes they aren’t “good with money”. They might avoid learning about investing, make impulsive purchases, and subconsciously sabotage their financial success, because of that limiting belief. Recommending Happy Money by Ken Honda on this subject.

    We often don’t realize that we’re self-sabotaging – we simply attribute our failures to bad luck or external circumstances. This hinders us from recognizing our full potential.

    Breaking Free: Habits to Cultivate Awareness & Challenge Limiting Beliefs

    The good news is that we can become more aware of our beliefs and challenge those that are holding us back. Since I am a big believer in the power of habits, let me share two of them:

    1. The “Why” Exercise (Journaling):

    • Action: Whenever you notice a strong emotional reaction to a situation, or find yourself consistently making the same choices, ask yourself why. Don’t stop at the first answer. Keep asking “why” several times to dig deeper and uncover the underlying belief driving your behavior.
    • Why it Works: This habit forces you to become a detective of your own mind, uncovering the hidden assumptions that shape your actions. It creates space between your initial reaction and your response, allowing you to examine the belief objectively. For example: “I feel anxious when someone disagrees with me.” Why? “Because I fear rejection.” Why? “Because I believe my worth is tied to the approval of others.” Now you’ve identified a limiting belief you can work on.

    2. Perspective-Taking & Active Listening:

    • Action: Actively seek out perspectives different from your own. Engage in conversations with people who hold different viewpoints, and really listen to what they have to say. Try to understand their reasoning, even if you disagree. Challenge yourself to articulate their viewpoint back to them, ensuring you’ve truly understood it.
    • Why it Works: This habit breaks down the echo chamber and exposes you to alternative ways of thinking. It challenges your assumptions and forces you to consider the possibility that your beliefs might not be the only valid ones. It cultivates empathy and broadens your understanding of the world, paving the way for more informed and flexible thinking.

    Conclusion

    Challenging your beliefs is not about erasing your past or abandoning your values. It’s about creating a life that is aligned with your true potential, rather than being dictated by limiting beliefs formed long ago. It’s about recognizing that the architecture of your reality is not fixed, but a constantly evolving structure that you have the power to reshape. The journey to self-awareness is a lifelong one, but the rewards – a more fulfilling, authentic, and empowered life – are well worth the effort.

    Follow me on threads for daily inspiration: gabriel.live.24

  • Stuck in Traffic, Stuck in My Head: How “Don’t Believe Everything You Think” Changed My Perspective

    Stuck in Traffic, Stuck in My Head: How “Don’t Believe Everything You Think” Changed My Perspective

    I was late. Not just a few minutes late, but really late. A crucial meeting with a potential client, months in the making, and I was stuck, completely immobile, on the highway. The sun beat down on my car, and the minutes crawled by. Instead of rationally assessing the situation (call them, explain, breathe), I spiraled. My heart hammered, my palms sweat, and my internal monologue went into overdrive: “This is a disaster! They’ll think I’m unprofessional! This deal is ruined! My career is over!” It was a classic example of making a mountain out of a molehill, and at that moment, I was convinced that mountain was going to crush me.

    What you’ll find inside:

    Looking back, the traffic was just… traffic. A temporary inconvenience. But my reaction to it was the real problem. And that’s the core message of Joseph Nguyen’s incredibly insightful book, “Don’t Believe Everything You Think.” This book isn’t just another self-help guide; it’s a profound exploration of how our perceptions create our reality, and how, with a little awareness, we can reclaim control of our emotional lives.

    Don’t read this book for information, read it for insight. Insight (or wisdom) can only be found within.

    – Joseph Nguyen

    The World as We Perceive It, Not as It Is

    Nguyen challenges a fundamental assumption we all make: that we are experiencing reality directly. He argues that we don’t live in reality, we live in a world of thought. The actual events that happen are just… events. They happen with no inherent meaning. Imagine a simple occurrence – a friend cancelling lunch. That’s the event. But what meaning do we assign to it? “They don’t care about me,” or “Something important must have come up,” or “They’re just flaky.” That meaning is what triggers the emotional response.

    This is crucial: the event itself doesn’t cause the feeling, our interpretation of it does. And that interpretation isn’t a fixed truth, it’s a subjective construct. Ask ten different people to describe the same conversation, and you’ll get ten different accounts, colored by their own experiences, beliefs, and biases. We’re all essentially watching the world through a personalized filter, shaped by years of accumulated thinking.

    This realization is humbling, and potentially liberating. If our experience of life is built on perception, not objective truth, then we have the power to shift that perception.

    Feelings Follow Thought, Not Events

    The book’s most potent message centers on the relationship between thoughts and feelings. Nguyen argues that we don’t feel because of what happens to us, we feel because of what we think about what happens. Pain is inevitable, life throws curveballs, but suffering is optional.

    Think back to my traffic jam. The cars were simply stopped. The heat was just a temperature. The suffering came from the catastrophic stories I was telling myself, the exaggerated fears, the imagined consequences.

    Nguyen makes a compelling case that our thinking is the root cause of our suffering. If we accept that we can only ever feel what we are thinking, then we unlock the potential to change our feelings simply by changing our thoughts.

    This isn’t about positive thinking or denial. It’s about recognizing that our emotional state is a choice, determined by the narrative we create in our minds. We are, at any given moment, only one thought away from experiencing something different, from transforming our entire experience of life.

    The Power of “Thinking” vs. Having “Thoughts”

    The book draws a crucial distinction between simply having thoughts and engaging in thinking. Thoughts, Nguyen explains, are like clouds passing through the sky – they arise and pass without our conscious effort. But thinking is actively engaging with those thoughts, analyzing them, getting caught up in stories and narratives.

    We don’t have to engage with every thought that enters our mind. In fact, that’s where the problem lies. The more we dwell on our thoughts, the more powerful they become, fueling anxiety, worry, and sadness.

    Nguyen beautifully illustrates this with a simple analogy: Thoughts create, thinking destroys. Thoughts are the building blocks of reality, but thinking is the incessant, often negative, commentary that undermines our peace and well-being.

    He introduces the idea of a “thought-o-meter” – imagine a speedometer in your mind. The more thinking you’re doing, the higher it climbs. Low speeds are okay, even enjoyable, allowing for creativity and reflection. But when it hits the red zone, fueled by relentless worry and overanalysis, that’s when we experience stress, burnout, and emotional distress. Conversely, positive emotions flourish when the “thought-o-meter” is low – when we’re present, engaged, and not lost in the labyrinth of our minds. That is why concepts of Deep Work or Flow are so important.

    Three Habits to Explore the Impact of Thinking

    “Don’t Believe Everything You Think” isn’t just theoretical; it provides practical tools for applying these principles to daily life. Here are three habits Nguyen suggests, explained with a bit more detail:

    1. The “What Are You Thinking?”

    • Action: Throughout the day, pause and ask yourself: “What am I thinking right now?” Not what’s happening, but what is going on inside your head? Initially, you’ll likely discover you’re lost in a stream of narratives, judgments, and worries. This practice isn’t about stopping the thoughts, but about becoming aware of them. Awareness is the first step towards creating distance and preventing them from dictating your emotional state.
    • Why it works: It breaks the automaticity of thinking and allows you to observe your internal world with more objectivity.

    2. The “Thinking = Believing”

    • Action: Notice how readily you accept your thoughts as truth. For example, if you think “I’m going to fail this presentation,” examine that thought. Is it a fact? Or is it a prediction based on fear? By questioning the validity of your thoughts, you dismantle their power. Recognize that thoughts are simply mental events, not reflections of reality.
    • Why it works: It exposes the often-unfounded nature of our negative beliefs and allows you to choose how you respond to them.

    3. The “Time-Stop Before Reacting”

    • Action: When faced with a challenging situation, resist the urge to immediately react. Take a deep breath and create a small gap between the stimulus and your response. In that space, ask yourself: “What am I thinking right now?” and “Do I have to react this way?” This pause allows you to make a conscious choice rather than reacting impulsively from a place of fear or anger.
    • Why it works: It prevents you from getting swept away by emotional momentum and allows you to respond with greater clarity and composure.

    “Don’t Believe Everything You Think” is a profound and transformative book. It doesn’t offer quick fixes or easy answers, but it provides a powerful framework for understanding the nature of suffering and reclaiming control of our emotional lives. It’s a reminder that the world isn’t happening to us, it’s happening with us, and that our perception, not our circumstances, ultimately shapes our reality.

  • AI & Journaling: Unlock Deeper Self-Awareness

    AI & Journaling: Unlock Deeper Self-Awareness

    For years, I’ve been a dedicated journaler. All started with a “Dear Diary” kind, but quickly resolved to a question-based approach. I pick a prompt – anything from “What makes me truly alive?” to “What’s a belief I hold that most disagree with?” – and just write. It’s incredibly freeing, but often leaves me with a sprawling mess of thoughts.

    Lately, though, I’ve been experimenting with a new layer to this practice: AI analysis. And the results have been surprisingly profound.

    What you’ll find inside:

    From Stream of Consciousness to Structured Insight

    Let’s be honest, sometimes my journal entries read like a brain dump. Valuable, maybe, but lacking clear structure. That’s where AI comes in. I paste my entries into an AI chatbot (I’ve been experimenting with Gemmini, Grok and Deepseek) and ask it to analyze the post. Specifically, I ask it to summarize the overall impression, identify key themes, and point out any recurring patterns.

    What’s a childhood dream you’ve let go of, and what did that loss teach you about yourself?

    @gabriel.live.24

    The first time I tried it, I was skeptical. Could an algorithm really understand my inner world? But the analysis was eerily accurate. It pulled out nuances I hadn’t consciously recognized, and synthesized my scattered thoughts into a coherent narrative.

    For all interested, I am using a self hosted version, since I am not trusting anyone with my personal data.

    Why This Works: The Power of External Perspective

    We’re notoriously bad at objectively analyzing ourselves. Our brains are wired to confirm existing beliefs and filter out information that challenges them. AI, on the other hand, provides a neutral, external perspective. It doesn’t have emotional baggage or pre-conceived notions. It simply identifies patterns and provides insights based on the data.

    This doesn’t mean the AI is telling me what to think. It’s more like a skilled mirror, reflecting my own thoughts back to me in a new light. It allows me to step outside of my own head and see myself with greater clarity.

    How This Habit is Leading to More Clarity in Life

    Here’s how combining journaling with AI analysis has impacted my life:

    • Deeper Self-Awareness: I’m uncovering hidden beliefs, motivations, and patterns of behavior I wasn’t aware of before.
    • More Coherent Narrative: The AI helps me connect the dots between different entries, creating a more cohesive understanding of my life story.
    • Improved Decision-Making: By identifying my core values and priorities, I’m making more intentional choices that align with my authentic self.
    • Increased Emotional Intelligence: The process of analyzing my own thoughts and feelings is helping me better understand my emotional landscape.
    • A Shift from Reaction to Reflection: I’m moving away from simply reacting to life’s events and towards a more thoughtful, reflective approach.

    Is This Right for You?

    I’m not suggesting that AI should replace traditional journaling. The act of writing itself is incredibly valuable. But if you’re looking for a way to take your journaling practice to the next level, I highly recommend experimenting with AI analysis.

    Here are a few tips to get started:

    • Be specific with your prompts. Instead of just asking the AI to “analyze my entry,” ask it to focus on specific themes or patterns.
    • Don’t blindly accept the AI’s analysis. Use it as a starting point for further reflection.
    • Remember that the AI is just a tool. Ultimately, the insights you gain are your own.

    This isn’t about letting an algorithm define you. It’s about harnessing the power of AI to unlock your own self-understanding and create a more meaningful life. It’s about going beyond the page to truly see yourself.

    Looking for inspiration for new journaling prompts? I share mine on threads @gabriel.live.24

  • From Reacting to Witnessing: A Path to Inner Growth

    From Reacting to Witnessing: A Path to Inner Growth

    The phone call came on a Tuesday. My friends said two words – ‘it’s over’ and ‘forever’ – and suddenly, the carefully constructed life I’d built felt like it was crumbling around me. I spent the next few weeks in a fog of anxiety, convinced I was a failure. It wasn’t a life-or-death situation, but it felt like everything I believed in was slipping away.

    What you’ll find inside:

    Then came a realization that changed everything: I am not my thoughts.

    This simple truth, once embraced, somehow unlocked a transformation. A year later, I stand as a testament to the power of that shift. I’ve reclaimed my health, lost weight and maintained it through consistent exercise (something my former self would have scoffed at!), and rediscovered the joy of reading. Most importantly, I’m finally feel free to express myself authentically.

    Don’t mistake my optimistic writing for a finished story. Healing isn’t linear. Our brains are masters of illusion, conjuring painful flashbacks or projecting future fears. But with distance, I know I’ve reached a new level of growth.

    This “aha” moment wasn’t just for me. I believe this understanding – that you are not your thoughts – is a powerful key to unlocking potential for anyone trapped in a cycle of negativity. It’s a message I’m driven to share.

    Recommending the book: “Don’t believe everything you think” by Jospeh Nguyen

    Don’t you know? Your thoughts are not you

    I started to dig into why I didn’t realized this earlier in life. Apparently it’s incredibly common to have that “aha” moment relatively late in life. And most of the people realizing that your perception creates your reality, and therefore your feelings, perceive this as a game-changer. Btw. it’s the core principle behind many philosophies and therapeutic approaches (like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Stoicism, and mindfulness).

    It’s not about denying that external events have an impact. It’s about recognizing that your interpretation of those events is what determines your emotional response.

    –> also worthwhile to read: Don’t believe everything you think

    The realization of your thoughts are just projections of the past or future and not you as individual, will impact you in several dimensions:

    • Empowerment: You will discover that you have more control over your emotional state than you thought. You’re no longer a victim of your circumstances.
    • Resilience: You can develop the ability to navigate difficult situations with greater equanimity. Because you will start focusing on the things you can control right now.
    • Personal Growth: You can consciously choose thoughts and beliefs that support your well-being. Ranging from little things like choosing the words you use when talking to yourself, up to challenging the main beliefs you use to guide you in life.
    • Freedom: You can break free from limiting patterns of thinking and behavior.

    Every time I catch myself acting like a hamster trapped in a wheel, I remind myself to reflect if it is really me or just my brain on autopilot.

    Conditioned to believe in objective reality

    This understanding often eludes us for so long. But why is it so difficult to grasp?

    From a very young age, we’re taught to believe that the world happens to us. We learn to react to external events, and our parents/caregivers often focus on fixing the problem rather than teaching us how to manage our response to it. “You’re sad because you fell? Let me make it better.” This reinforces the idea that the external event caused the sadness.

    It could be that this was necessary in our evolutionary past – reacting quickly to external threats was crucial for survival. Analyzing our interpretation of a threat would have been too slow. “Bear! Run!” was more effective than “What does this bear mean?” Over time our brains are got incredibly efficient at filtering information and creating narratives. As a result we don’t consciously choose every thought we have. This creates the illusion that our thoughts are simply reflections of reality, rather than constructions of it.

    Over time, we develop patterns of thinking that become automatic. We react to situations in the same way we always have, without questioning whether those reactions are serving us.

    The blindspot is you

    This conditioning to believe in objective reality is so profound, that it’s surprisingly difficult to step back and observe your own thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in them. Trying to analyze your thoughts while you’re having them is like trying to see your own brain. When we’re caught up in strong emotions, it’s even harder to step back and see that those emotions are being fueled by our thoughts.

    We’re so accustomed to being the thinker, the feeler, that we are not able to imagine that we can also be the observer of those processes. It’s a subtle but crucial distinction. Our minds are constantly generating stories, interpretations, and judgments, and we often mistake these mental constructs for reality itself. This is also why our vocabulary molds our reality. Breaking free from this automatic pilot requires conscious effort and a willingness to question everything we think we know.

    Conclusion

    I don’t believe that one can have this realization just by reading the lines above. Though I feel, that it is important to share it and break the belief of what is truly possible.

    My next step is to practice observing my thoughts and feelings without judgment. Start noticing the connection between my thoughts, emotions, and my reactions. This takes practice, but it’s incredibly rewarding. I feel like getting into flow state more easily since I started with this habit.

    I feel like being on a powerful path of self-discovery! Already looking forward how this realization continues to unfold and reveal new layers of understanding.

  • Stuck in a Rut? ‘The Little Book of Clarity’ Offers a Surprisingly Simple Solution

    Stuck in a Rut? ‘The Little Book of Clarity’ Offers a Surprisingly Simple Solution

    Do you ever feel like you’re running on a treadmill, constantly busy but not actually getting anywhere? Like you’re striving for goals that don’t truly resonate, or trapped in a cycle of self-doubt? You’re not alone. In a world that glorifies ‘hustle,’ it’s easy to lose touch with what really matters.

    What you’ll find inside:

    Jamie Smart, a former therapist and clarity coach, offers a refreshing alternative in his book, The Little Book of Clarity. This isn’t another self-help book filled with empty affirmations. Smart presents a surprisingly simple, yet profoundly effective, framework for breaking free from the ‘busy being’ and reconnecting with your authentic self. The Little Book of Clarity offers a path to a more fulfilling life, not through doing more, but through being more.

    The core problem: The ‘busy being’ vs. the ‘real you’

    Smart argues that we often identify with our activities – our jobs, our roles, our to-do lists. We become a ‘busy being’ – defined by what we do rather than who we are. This leads to a constant need for external validation and a feeling of emptiness, even when we achieve our goals.

    The problem isn’t that we’re not doing enough; it’s that we’re disconnected from our core desires and authentic selves. We’re chasing things that should make us happy, instead of tuning into what actually does. I’d call it the productivity trap and felt victim to that multiple times.

    According to the author, the state of clarity is based on three pillars:

    Uncover Your Core Desire: The first step to clarity is identifying what truly motivates you. Not what you think should motivate you, or what your parents or society expects, but what genuinely excites and energizes you. Smart guides you through a process of self-discovery, helping you to peel back the layers of conditioning and uncover your deepest desires. This isn’t about finding a ‘passion’ – it’s about recognizing the underlying feeling that drives you.

    Recognize Your Limiting Beliefs: Once you’re aware of your core desire, the next step is to identify the beliefs that are holding you back. These might be negative thoughts and self-limiting assumptions that sabotage your efforts. Smart provides practical tools for challenging these beliefs and replacing them with more empowering ones. He emphasizes that beliefs aren’t facts – they’re simply stories we tell ourselves. Sounds familiar for all of us who read the book “Biology of Believe“.

    The Power of Non-Doing (and Allowing): This is where The Little Book of Clarity truly stands out. Smart introduces the concept of ‘non-doing’ – letting go of the need to control everything and allowing things to unfold naturally. This isn’t about being passive; it’s about trusting that you already have everything you need within you. It’s about creating space for inspiration and allowing your core desire to manifest without force. Also here, the idea of being vs doing isn’t new. Think of the concept of flow described by Csíkszentmihályi.

    Habits to apply the framework

    These aren’t about adding more to your to-do list. They’re about subtly shifting your awareness and interrupting old patterns.

    1. Notice the “stories” you are telling yourself

    Action: Throughout the day, actively listen to the narratives running through your head. What are you telling yourself about your situation, other people, and yourself? Write them down if it helps.

    Why It Works: We often operate on autopilot, believing our thoughts are facts. Noticing your “stories” creates distance. It allows you to see them as interpretations rather than reality. This is the first step in breaking free from limiting beliefs and reactive patterns. It’s like realizing you’re watching a movie – you’re not in the movie.

    2. Mind the “Gap”

    Action: Pay attention to the difference between what is happening and your interpretation of it. For example, a colleague doesn’t respond to your email. The fact is they haven’t replied. The gap is your story about why – “They’re ignoring me,” “They think I’m incompetent,” etc.

    Why It Works: The “gap” is where suffering is created. It’s the space between reality and your judgment of it. By recognizing this gap, you can choose to focus on the facts rather than getting caught up in your interpretations. This reduces emotional reactivity and allows you to respond more skillfully.

    3. “Three Deep Breaths” – Interrupt the Pattern

    Action: When you notice yourself getting caught up in a negative thought spiral or emotional reaction, pause and take three slow, deep breaths. Focus solely on the sensation of your breath.

    Why It Works: Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for the “rest and digest” response. This counteracts the fight-or-flight response triggered by stress and anxiety. It creates a momentary pause, disrupting the automatic pattern and giving you space to choose a different response. It’s a simple but powerful reset button.

    4. “What’s Possible Now?” – Shift Your Focus

    Action: Instead of dwelling on problems or past mistakes, ask yourself, “What’s possible now?” Focus on the next small step you can take, even if it seems insignificant.

    Why It Works: This question shifts your attention from what’s wrong to what’s available. It activates a sense of agency and possibility, breaking you out of a victim mentality. It’s about moving from being stuck in the past to creating a future you desire.

    Conclusion

    This book is perfect for anyone feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or disconnected from their true selves.The Little Book of Clarity isn’t about fixing yourself; it’s about remembering who you already are. By uncovering your core desire, challenging your limiting beliefs, and embracing the power of non-doing, you can unlock your potential and create a life filled with joy, purpose, and fulfillment. If you’re ready to break free from the ‘busy being’ and reconnect with your authentic self, I highly recommend giving this book a read.

  • Unlock Your Potential by Asking the Right Questions

    Unlock Your Potential by Asking the Right Questions

    In an age of instant information – where answers to almost anything are just a Google search or LLM prompt away – it’s fair to ask: is knowledge really that important anymore? Why commit to a lifetime of learning when information is so readily available? Let’s explore whether the pursuit of knowledge still holds value in a world obsessed with quick answers.

    What you’ll find inside:

    Not knowing is default for everyone

    “Not knowing” is the default state for all of us, and for much of history, simply finding information was the challenge. So why go to school? While the stories of successful dropouts capture headlines, they represent the exception, not the rule.

    Formal education isn’t solely about accumulating facts; it’s about building a foundational understanding of core concepts. More crucially, it’s about learning how to learn – cultivating the skills to independently acquire knowledge, critically evaluate information, and adapt to a changing world. Ideally, education should spark curiosity, igniting a commitment to lifelong learning that extends far beyond the classroom and empowers us to navigate complexity with confidence.

    Applying knowledge matters

    Knowing about something isn’t the same as knowing how to do it. Applying knowledge is about intentional action – taking what you’ve learned and actively using it to solve problems or create something new.

    Consider Pythagoras’ theorem – most of us learned it in school, but how often do we consciously use it in daily life? Perhaps you’re hanging a picture and need to ensure it’s level, or calculating the diagonal length of a new TV to see if it fits in your space. These seemingly small applications demonstrate the power of translating abstract knowledge into practical solutions. It’s in these moments that learning truly comes alive.

    But what happens when you have the knowledge, yet still struggle to apply it – that frustrating gap between understanding and execution? The best course of action isn’t to beat yourself up, but to question the knowledge itself.

    Revisit the fundamentals, ask clarifying questions until you arrive at the same understanding consistently, and then, crucially, ask yourself: ‘What do I need to know to start applying this?’

    Break down the task into smaller, manageable steps, and focus on the specific skills or information you’re lacking. It’s through this iterative process of questioning, refining, and applying that true mastery emerges.

    Learning is to ask the right questions

    True learning isn’t about passively receiving information; it’s about actively seeking it through thoughtful questions. Asking questions isn’t just a sign of curiosity, it’s a demonstration of intellectual humility – acknowledging what you don’t know.

    For many, this takes courage, as exposing gaps in our knowledge can feel vulnerable, a perceived weakness. But this fear is misplaced. Consider the foundation of all scientific discovery – it began with a question.

    Beyond personal growth, questioning is a powerful leadership tool. A well-placed question doesn’t just prompt you to rethink assumptions, it forces those you direct it towards to critically examine their own perspectives.

    So, how do we learn to ask the right questions? That’s a fantastic starting point for any journey of learning.

    Habits to cultivate a curious mind

    Turning questioning into a habit requires conscious effort, but the rewards are significant.

    1. The ‘Five Whys’ – Uncovering Root Causes

    • How to Implement: When you encounter a problem, statement, or situation, start by asking “Why?” After you receive an answer, ask “Why?” again about that answer. Repeat this process five times (or until you reach a fundamental reason).
    • Why it Works: This technique bypasses superficial explanations and forces you to drill down to the core of an issue. Often, the initial answer is a symptom, not the root cause. Each “Why?” peels back a layer, revealing deeper insights and prompting more targeted questions. It’s incredibly effective for problem-solving, process improvement, and understanding complex systems.

    2. Assumption Busting – Challenging Your Beliefs

    • How to Implement: Consciously identify your assumptions about a topic, situation, or person. Then, actively ask yourself, “What if my assumption is wrong?” Explore the implications of that possibility. Consider alternative explanations and perspectives.
    • Why it Works: We all operate with ingrained biases and assumptions. These can blind us to new information and limit our understanding. Challenging these assumptions forces us to think critically, consider different viewpoints, and avoid making hasty judgments.

    3. The Beginner’s Mind – Embracing Curiosity

    • How to Implement: Approach every situation as if you know nothing about it. Ask basic, seemingly obvious questions – “What is this?”, “How does it work?”, “What are the fundamental principles at play?”. Resist the urge to rely on pre-existing knowledge or make quick assumptions.
    • Why it Works: When we think we already know something, we stop truly seeing it. The beginner’s mind cultivates a state of open-mindedness and curiosity, allowing us to absorb new information and identify gaps in our understanding. It prevents us from falling into the trap of confirmation bias to seeking out information that confirms our existing beliefs.

    By consistently practicing these habits, you’ll not only improve your ability to ask better questions but also cultivate a more curious, open-minded, and insightful approach to learning and problem-solving. It does not take much, to stand out of the crowed.

    For all the book worms, I recommend reading “QBQ! The Question Behind the Question: Practicing Personal Accountability in Work and in Life” by John G. Miller.